Thanksgiving is right around the corner, and everyone is itching for Thanksgiving break and some turkey and stuffing. Calm the excitement with some belly laughs courtesy of our favorite corny Thanksgiving jokes for kids and their grown-ups!
1. Why did the turkey cross the road?
He wanted people to think he was a chicken.
2. Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
3. Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive?
It had 24 carrots.
4. What do you wear to Thanksgiving dinner?
5. What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
6. Why do turkeys love rainy days?
They love fowl weather.
7. Why do turkeys gobble?
Because they never learned table manners.
8. What’s a turkey’s favorite Thanksgiving food?
Nothing—it’s already stuffed.
9. Knock knock. Who’s there? Arthur. Arthur who?
Arthur any leftovers?
10. What instrument does a turkey play?
11. What do you call a running turkey?
12. What did the turkey say to the computer?
13. What kind of key can’t open doors?
14. What is a pumpkin’s favorite sport?
15. What’s the best song to play while cooking a turkey?
“All About That Baste.”
16. What do you call a turkey the day after Thanksgiving?
17. What sound does a turkey’s phone make?
Wing wing wing!
18. What’s a turkey’s favorite dessert?
19. What was the turkey thankful for on Thanksgiving?
20. How did the salt and pepper welcome their guests?
21. What did the sweet potato say when it was asked if it was hungry?
“Yes, I yam.”
22. What veggies would you like with your Thanksgiving dinner?
23. What smells the best at Thanksgiving dinner?
24. What did the little turkey say to the big turkey?
“Peck on someone your own size!”
25. What do turkeys like to do on sunny days?
26. Why is it hard to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes?
You can’t just quit “cold turkey.”
27. What did the hipster say the day after Thanksgiving?
I liked the leftovers before they were cool.
28. What happens when you’re too harsh on cranberries and make them sad?
They turn into blueberries.
29. Why did the cranberries turn red?
Because they saw the turkey dressing.
30. What sound does a limping turkey make?
31. What do you call Thanksgiving if you’re selfish?
32. What do you get if you cross a turkey with a ghost?
33. What comes at the beginning of a Thanksgiving parade?
The letter “p.”
34. What should you expect at the end of Thanksgiving?
The letter “g.”
35. Did you hear about the scarecrow who won first prize?
It was outstanding in its field.
36. Why don’t side dishes tell jokes?
They’re too corny.
37. Why is corn so popular on Thanksgiving?
Because it’s a-maize-ing.
38. How do little pumpkins cross the road?
With a crossing gourd.
39. What did the turkey say to the hunter on Thanksgiving?
40. What’s the best way to stuff a turkey?
Serve it pizza and ice cream.
41. Why did the farmer steamroll his potato field?
He wanted mashed potatoes.
42. Knock knock. Who’s there? Annie. Annie who?
Annie body want pumpkin pie?
43. Did you hear about the turkey fight?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him.
44. If leaves come from trees, where do turkeys come from?
45. Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Of course! Buildings can’t jump.
46. Knock knock. Who’s there? Gwen. Gwen who?
Gwen is Thanksgiving dinner? I’m hungry!
47. What do turkeys say on Thanksgiving?
48. Did you hear about the turkey prom?
It was a Butterball.
49. What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo?
A turkey that can pluck itself.
50. Knock knock. Who’s there? Dewey. Dewey who?
Dewey have to sit at the kids’ table again?
51. How do turkeys cross the ocean?
On a gravy boat.
52. Did you hear the one about the rude turkey?
It was jerk-y.
53. Why was the turkey expelled from the game?
It committed a fowl.
54. Knock knock. Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who?
I mustache you to carve the turkey.
55. Why didn’t the chef season the turkey?
There wasn’t enough thyme.
56. What do you call rain on Turkey Day?
57. How did the turkey get home for Thanksgiving?
It took the gravy train.
58. Knock knock. Who’s there? Noah. Noah who?
Noah good pumpkin pie recipe?
59. What did the turkey say to the mashed potatoes?
It’s gravy from here on out.
60. How many cooks do you need to stuff a turkey?
Just one, but sometimes they don’t fit.
61. Knock knock. Who’s there? Anita. Anita who?
Anita bigger pair of pants ’cause I ate too much.
62. What do you call a turkey that has no manners?
A “poultry” excuse for a dinner guest.
63. What did the mashed potatoes say to the sweet potatoes?
I yam what I yam!
64. What do you get when you cross a turkey with a computer?
A lot of bytes.
65. What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
66. How can you make a turkey float?
You need root beer, a scoop of ice cream, and a Pilgrim!
67. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A can’t opener.
68. What’s the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie?
69. What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus?
Enough drumsticks for everyone.
70. What do you call a turkey that’s been marinated in ginger ale?
A ginger bird.
71. Why did the cranberry sauce turn to the turkey for advice?
Because it was in a jam.
72. What do you get when you cross a turkey with a vampire?
A bird that sucks your gravy.
73. Why was the math book sad on Thanksgiving?
Because it had too many problems.
74. What did one autumn leaf say to another?
I’m falling for you!
75. What’s a turkey’s favorite type of music?
Anything with drumsticks.
76. What did the sweet potato say to the pumpkin pie?
You’re my butter half.
77. What do you call a turkey that’s been on a diet?
A slim pickin’.
78. Why did the turkey sit on the dinner table?
To gobble up the mashed potatoes.
79. What did the mashed potatoes say to the gravy?
80. Why did the football team go to the bank?
To get their quarter back.
81. What did the green bean say to the mashed potatoes?
“You’re such a mush!”
82. What did the turkey say before it was roasted?
“Boy, I’m stuffed!”
83. Why did the turkey go to the doctor?
It was feeling a bit stuffed up.
84. What’s a turkey’s favorite type of weather?
85. What do you call a turkey that’s been in the sun for too long?
A roasted turkey.
86. Why did the cranberry turn on the TV?
It wanted to see the turkey get roasted.
87. What do you get when you cross a turkey with an onion?
A bird that makes you cry when you carve it.
88. Why did the Thanksgiving dinner call the police?
There was fowl play!
89. Why don’t turkeys play hide-and-seek?
Because they’re always too stuffed.
90. What’s a turkey’s favorite dance?
The turkey trot.
91. What did the sweet potato say to the pumpkin pie?
“You are so sweet!”
92. How do you keep a turkey in suspense?
I’ll let you know at Thanksgiving dinner!
93. What’s a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?
94. What do you call a turkey that’s been banned from the barnyard?
An ex-poultry-ated turkey!
95. What do you call a turkey that’s been to the gym?
96. Why did the pumpkin pie go to the dentist?
It needed a filling.
97. Why did the turkey bring a microphone to Thanksgiving dinner?
Because it wanted to be a trot singer.
98. What’s a turkey’s favorite meal at Thanksgiving?
I don’t know, but it’s definitely not chicken pot pie!
99. What did the mashed potatoes say to the gravy?
“You complete me.”
100. What did the dad say when he was asked to say grace?