History is usually no laughing matter, but sometimes we can’t help but LOL at modern interpretations of the past. Here are 30 irreverent history jokes to share with your students.
Why were the early days of history called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?
Because he couldn’t lie.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/4th!
What did Mason say to Dixon?
We’ve got to draw the line here!
How did Louis XIV feel after completing the Palace of Versailles?
Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
At the bottom!
Why did Columbus cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common?
The same middle name!
Two wrongs don’t make a right.
But two Wrights did make an airplane!
What did King George think of the American colonies?
He thought they were revolting.
Why is history like a fruit cake?
It’s full of dates.
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school?
Did you hear the one about the Liberty Bell?
Yeah, it cracked me up too!
How are the first Americans like ants?
They both live in colonies.
How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity?
How did the Vikings send secret messages?
By Norse code.
What’s the most popular kids’ movie in Ancient Greece?
Why was the math book sad about history class?
It knew it couldn’t count on the past.
Why did the archaeologist become a comedian?
Because he loved digging up old jokes.
Why did the knight always carry a pencil and paper?
He wanted to draw his sword.
Why did the ancient Pharaoh go to jail?
He wouldn’t stop running his pyramid schemes.
Why did the ancient Egyptians need a doctor?
They had sar-cough-aguses.
How did the cavemen feel about studying history?
They thought it was a pre-hysterical subject.
Why did Alexander the Great have to study geometry?
He wanted to conquer all the angles.
How did the Roman emperor cut his hair?
With a pair of Caesars.
How did the Egyptian pharaoh get around?
In his mummy’s car.
How did the pharaoh feel after a long day of ruling?
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Plus, if you liked these history jokes, check out our favorite math jokes and science jokes.