Want to bring a little humor to your middle or high school classroom? These clean jokes for teens are just clever enough to make them giggle (or at least smile). Choose some to share with your tween and teen students!
Jump to:
- How To Use Jokes in Your Classroom
- Classic Jokes for Teens
- Animal Jokes for Teens
- Food Jokes for Teens
- Math Jokes for Teens
- Science Jokes for Teens
- Grammar and Literature Jokes
- School and Homework Jokes for Teens
- Sports Jokes for Teens
- Nature Jokes for Teens
- Pop Culture Jokes for Teens
- Tech and Social Media Jokes for Teens
- Seasonal Jokes for Teens
How To Use Jokes in Middle and High School Classrooms
Humor can help teachers showcase their personalities and make connections with even the toughest of audiences. It’s all about choosing your jokes carefully:
- Choose jokes kids will actually understand. Make sure the subject is relevant to today’s students and the wording isn’t over their heads.
- Don’t use jokes that make fun of individuals. Avoid the temptation to draw attention to specific students or fellow staff members. It’s all too easy for one person’s “joke” to seriously hurt another person’s feelings.
- Stay away from offensive stereotypes. This should be a no-brainer, but older jokes often leaned heavily on these tropes. Think carefully before you share.
- Don’t be afraid to get a little cheesy. Silly jokes that make kids groan can be fun too!
Once you find the right jokes for teens (and we’ve got plenty of them here to choose from!), try these clever ways to use them in your middle or high school classroom:
- Bell ringers: Start each class with a laugh!
- Brain breaks: Sprinkle a few jokes throughout a presentation to give students a laugh before moving on to another topic.
- Icebreakers: Write jokes and answers on separate note cards, then pass them out so each student has one. Kids mix and mingle, trying to match the jokes with their punchlines.
- Bulletin boards: Fold sheets of paper in half, then write the joke on the outside and the punchline on the inside. Hang them in your classroom and switch them out regularly to keep students engaged.
- Extra credit: Every once in awhile, reuse a joke as an extra credit question on a test or quiz!
With these tips and ideas in mind, it’s time for the jokes themselves!
Classic Jokes for Teens
What is a teenager who never grows called?
Constantine.
Why does a music teacher need a ladder?
To reach the high notes.
What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A stick.
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.
What travels the world but stays in one corner?
A stamp.
What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?
I don’t know, and I don’t care.
Why do pimples make horrible prisoners?
Because they keep breaking out!
Why do pirates have to learn the alphabet?
If they don’t, they’ll be lost at C.
What can you catch but not throw?
Your breath.
What are the most popular perfumes for ages 12 to 18?
Adolescents.
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
Because it was two-tired.
Why did the man fall down the well?
Because he couldn’t see that well.
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
An abdominal snowman.
Cool Winter Jokes (Free Slides)
Get 100+ winter-themed jokes for kids with this free set of Google Slides!
Why do calendars get nervous?
Because their days are numbered.
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
He couldn’t see himself doing it.
Animal Jokes for Teens
Why are frogs always so happy?
They eat whatever bugs them.
What happens when a frog’s car breaks down?
It gets toad away.
Where do cats go swimming?
The kitty pool.
Can you put the cat out?
Why, is it on fire?
What is the wake-up time for ducks?
The quack of dawn.
What did the duck say when she bought lipstick?
“Put it on my bill.”
How many tickles make an octopus laugh?
Ten-tickles.
What animal is the worst at hiding?
Leopards. They’re always spotted.
What do you call a cow with no GPS?
Udderly lost.
What do you call a rash on a pig?
Hogwarts.
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line.
What do you call a pile of cats?
A meowtain.
What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
Irrelephant.
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investi-gator.
What do you call a grizzly with bad teeth?
A gummy bear.
Why can’t a T-Rex clap its hands?
Because they’re extinct.
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
It has a silent P.
Why did the crab never share?
Because he was a little shellfish.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
Animal Jokes for Kids
Check out this collection of silly jokes about dogs, cats, and other animals, including free slides!
Food Jokes for Teens
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese.
How do wicked chickens reproduce?
They lay deviled eggs.
What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
Reali-tea.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
Why did the student eat his homework?
Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
What kind of milk does a pampered cow give?
Spoiled milk.
What did the grape say when it was pinched?
Nothing, it just started to whine.
Why does ice cream get invited to every party?
Because it’s cool and sweet.
Why are eggs bad at telling jokes?
They always crack each other up.
What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta.
Where do fruits go on vacation?
Pearis.
Where can you learn to make ice cream?
Sundae school.
Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing.
What is orange and red and full of disappointment?
High school pizza.
Where do hamburgers take their dates for romantic dancing?
The Meat Ball.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well.
What did the sushi say to the bee?
Wasabi!
Math Jokes for Teens
What is 12 + 78 / 3 × 54 + 66?
A headache.
Why was the math book bummed?
It had a lot of problems.
Why shouldn’t you worry about passing math?
Because it’s easy as pi.
If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
Big hands.
Why was the equal sign so humble?
Because it knew it wasn’t less than or greater than anyone else.
How do you make seven an even number?
Just delete the “s.”
Why is math class so much like a forest?
It’s full of natural logs.
Why did the two fours skip lunch?
They already 8.
What’s a math teacher’s favorite kind of tree?
Geometry.
Why don’t you ever argue with a 90-degree angle?
Because it’s always right.
Why did the student wear glasses during math class?
To improve division.
Why was the calculus teacher always tired?
She kept running out of functions.
Why don’t students trust math teachers?
Because they’re always plotting something.
Math Jokes for Kids (Free Slides!)
Love these jokes? Don’t miss our entire collection of math jokes for kids, teens, and classrooms!
Science Jokes for Teens
Why are chemists excellent problem-solvers?
They have all the solutions.
What did the biologist wear to impress their date?
Designer genes.
What’s the most hardworking part of the eye?
The pupil.
What is the one reason you cannot trust atoms?
They make up everything.
Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts.
What should you do when no one laughs at your science jokes?
Keep trying till you get a reaction.
What did one DNA strand say to the other?
“Do these genes make me look fat?”
Why did the chemist break up with the biologist?
There was no chemistry.
What did the limestone say to the geologist?
“Don’t take me for granite!”
What’s a physicist’s favorite food?
Fission chips.
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium.
How does a scientist freshen their breath before a big test?
With experi-mints!
How are parties organized at NASA?
They planet.
What did one light bulb say to the other?
Watt’s up?
Science Jokes for Kids (Free Slides)
Want more jokes like these? Check out our whole collection of science jokes, with free Google Slides!
Grammar and Literature Jokes for Teens
Why should you never date an apostrophe?
They’re too possessive.
How do you spell “jealousy” with just two letters?
N-V.
What do you say to comfort a grammar teacher?
“There, their, they’re.”
Why are writers always cold?
They’re surrounded by drafts.
Is there a word that uses all the vowels, including y?
Unquestionably.
Why is nostalgia like grammar?
We find the present tense and the past perfect.
What do grammar-loving Jedis say?
Metaphors be with you.
What part of speech always minds its manners?
A proper noun.
What does a thesaurus have for breakfast?
A synonym roll.
What happened when the textbook got sick?
It had to have its appendix removed.
What did the librarian say when a book fell on her head?
“I only have my shelf to blame.”
What did Charles Dickens keep in his spice rack?
The best of thymes and the worst of thymes.
What kind of animal wrote 19th-century romance novels?
A Brontësaurus.
What did Juliet say when Romeo asked her where she wanted to go on their honeymoon?
“Anywhere but Paris.”
What does Kurt Vonnegut like to have in his cream cheese?
Slaughterhouse chives.
What is Dr. Jekyll’s favorite game?
Hyde-and-seek.
What was Moby Dick’s favorite meal?
Fish and ships.
Why did Sherlock Holmes always bring a pencil to a crime scene?
To help him draw conclusions.
What did the editor say about the first detailed draft of Walden?
“It’s very Thoreau.”
School and Homework Jokes for Teens
What’s a teacher’s favorite nation?
Expla-nation.
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
He wanted to go to high school.
What did the paper say to the pencil?
“Write on!”
Why is history so cool?
It has a lot of dates.
What do you call a teacher who never farts in public?
A private tutor.
What’s the most important subject a witch learns in school?
Spelling.
Why did the student throw a clock out the window?
To see time fly!
Why did the homework file a police report?
Because it got bitten by the dog.
Why didn’t the pencil do its homework?
It was feeling a bit pointless.
Why did the student bring scissors to school?
To cut class.
What’s a ghost’s favorite homework?
Boo-k reports.
Why did the student eat a light bulb?
He needed a bright idea.
School Jokes for Kids (Free Slides)
Find even more school jokes in our big roundup, with a free set of Google Slides.
Sports Jokes for Teens
How is a magician similar to a hockey player?
They can both do hat tricks.
How do basketball players always stay cool?
They sit near their fans.
Why did the soccer player bring string to the game?
Just in case he needed to tie the score.
Why was the basketball team so messy?
They always dribbled on the court.
What do you call a pig who plays basketball?
A ball hog.
Why can’t tennis players play hide-and-seek?
They make a racquet.
What kind of stories do basketball players tell?
Tall tales.
Why did the football team go to the bank?
To get their quarter back.
What’s a cheerleader’s favorite drink?
Root beer.
Why did the track runner get promoted?
He was always going the extra mile.
Why don’t basketball players go on vacation?
They don’t want to get called for traveling.
What’s a boxer’s favorite part of a joke?
The punchline.
Football Jokes for Kids
Love sports jokes? Check out this collection of football jokes, with free Google Slides!
Nature Jokes for Teens
How do mountains keep themselves warm during winter?
Snowcaps.
Which is the best day to go to the beach?
Sun-day.
How does the moon cut its hair?
Eclipse it.
Why did the teacher go to the beach?
To test the waters.
Why did the tree go to therapy?
It needed to get to the root of its problems.
What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, it just waved.
Why are mountains always so funny?
Because they’re hill areas.
What did the tree wear to the pool party?
Swim trunks.
What’s a tornado’s favorite game to play?
Twister.
Why did the sun go to school?
To get brighter.
What kind of tree can fit in your hand?
A palm tree.
What does a cloud wear under its clothes?
Thunderwear.
Why did the river break up with the ocean?
It just felt like they were drifting apart.
Pop Culture Jokes for Teens
What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married?
Feyoncé.
How do Minecraft players celebrate?
They throw block parties.
How did the hipster’s mouth burn?
He had pizza before it was cool.
What kind of music do balloons hate?
Pop music.
Why did Harry Potter suddenly go bald in his teens?
He lost his Hedwig.
What do you call hiking U.S. college students?
The Walking Debt.
Why did Spider-Man’s girlfriend break up with him?
Because she found him too clingy.
Why did Iron Man make an excellent parent?
Because he always said “I love you 3000.”
Why does Pikachu make a terrible detective?
Because he always shocks the witness.
Why doesn’t Voldemort use social media?
He can’t find any followers.
How does Darth Vader like his toast?
On the dark side.
Tech and Social Media Jokes for Teens
What do computers snack on?
Microchips.
What would you call a belt with a watch on it?
A waist of time.
Why are spiders such know-it-alls?
They’re always on the web.
Why did the computer go to the doctor?
It had a virus.
Why was the smartphone late to work?
It lost its signal.
Why don’t robots ever panic?
They’ve got nerves of steel.
Why was the computer so good at making friends?
It always knew how to network.
Why do programmers prefer dark mode?
Because the light attracts bugs.
Why did the computer feel queasy?
It had too many cookies.
How did the computer act when it got cold?
It froze.
Why did the Wi-Fi break up with the computer?
They lost their connection.
How do you know when you’re desperate for an answer?
You look at the second page of the Google search results.
What’s the golden rule of social media?
Tweet others the way you want to be tweeted.
What’s the opposite of social media?
Social life.
What’s a thousand times better than Instagram?
Instakilogram.
What do you call an app that messages your friends when you talk in your sleep?
Napchat.
What do you call an English teacher with a social media addiction?
An Instagrammar.
Seasonal Jokes for Teens
Why did the skeleton refuse to celebrate Halloween?
It didn’t have the guts.
Why does no one make friends with Dracula?
He is a pain in the neck.
Can February March?
No, but April May.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite.
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
Why did the turkey join the band?
Because it had the drumsticks!
What is an old snowman called?
A puddle.
Why was the elf so confident?
He had great elf-esteem!
Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting?
They always drop their needles.
What’s Santa’s favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
Why do ornaments love Christmas so much?
They get to hang out with all the lights.
What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?
A cookie sheet.
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