101 Hoot-larious Animal Jokes

How do you make a cow float?

Everyone loves a good laugh, so when the tension is high (test time, anyone?) and you want to get your students to relax, why not pull out one of our favorite animal jokes?

From chickens to sharks, lions to monkeys … we’ve got something for all your animal lovers. Check out our list of animal jokes below!

Our Favorite Animal Jokes

1. How do bees get to school?

How do bees get to school? By school buzz!- animal jokes for kids

By school buzz!

2. Why are teddy bears never hungry?

Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!

They are always stuffed.

3. What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?

What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper? “Ruff!” 

“Ruff!”

4. What is black and white and red all over?

What is black and white and red all over? A sunburned zebra.- animal jokes for kids
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A sunburned zebra.

5. How do you fit more pigs on your farm?

How do you fit more pigs on your farm? Build a sty-scraper! 

Build a sty-scraper!

6. Where do cows go for entertainment?

Where do cows go for entertainment? To the moo-vies.

To the moo-vies.

7. What dog keeps the best time?

What dog keeps the best time? A watch dog.- animal jokes for kids

A watch dog.

8. Why do sharks live in saltwater?

Why do sharks live in saltwater? Because pepper makes them sneeze!- animal jokes

Because pepper makes them sneeze!

9. What do you call a horse that lives next door?

What do you call a horse that lives next door? A neigh-bor.

A neigh-bor.

10. What kind of snake would you find on a car?

What kind of snake would you find on a car? A windshield viper!- animal jokes for kids

A windshield viper!

11. Why are monkeys terrible storytellers?

Why are monkeys terrible storytellers? Because they only have one tail.

Because they only have one tail.

12. Why did the snake cross the road?

Why did the snake cross the road? To get to the other ssssssside!- animal jokes

To get to the other ssssssside.

13. Where do famous dragons go after they retire?

Where do famous dragons go after they retire? The hall of flame!- animal jokes for kids

The hall of flame.

14. Why are dogs like phones?

Why are dogs like phones?

Because they have collar ID’s.

15. Why are fish so smart?

Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.

Because they live in schools.

16. What do you get if you cross fireworks with a duck?

What do you get if you cross fireworks with a duck? Firequackers!- animal jokes for kids

Firequackers!

17. How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?

How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? "Pleased to eat you."

“Pleased to eat you.”

18. What is a cat’s favorite dessert?

What is a cat's favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse.- animal jokes

Chocolate mouse.

19. What fish only swims at night?

What fish only swims at night? A starfish!- animal jokes for kids

A starfish!

20. What do fish do at football games?

What do fish do at football games? They wave.

They wave.

21. What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie?

What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!- animal jokes

A pie-thon.

22. Where do milkshakes come from?

Where do milkshakes come from? Nervous cows.- animal jokes for kids

Nervous cows.

23. What do you call a dog with a fever?

What do you call a dog with a fever? A hot dog.

A hot dog.

24. Where did the sheep go on vacation?

Where did the sheep go on vacation? The Baaaahamas.- animal jokes

The Baaaahamas.

25. How do you make a cow float?

How do you make a cow float? Root beer, ice cream, a cherry, and a cow.- animal jokes for kids

Root beer, ice cream, a cherry, and a cow.

26. What kind of bird works at a construction site?

What kind of bird works at a construction site?

A crane.

27. What does a fish say after sharing a new idea?

What does a fish say after sharing a new idea?

Let minnow what you think.

28. What do you call an alligator who solves mysteries?

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? Example of animal jokes for kids.

An investi-gator.

29. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

What do you call an alligator who solves mysteries? Example of animal jokes for kids

A carrot.

30. Why don’t leopards play hide-and-seek?

Why don’t leopards play hide-and-seek?- animal jokes

They’re always spotted.

31. What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk?

What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk?

An udder failure.

32. What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?

What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Example of animal jokes for kids.

Ouch!

33. What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.

34. Why is a fish easy to weigh?

Why is a fish easy to weigh? Example of animal jokes for kids.- animal jokes

Because it has its own scales.

35. Why did the chicken cross the road?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Example of Animal jokes for kids.

To show everyone he wasn’t chicken.

36. What made the witches lose the baseball game?

What made the witches lose the baseball game?

All of their bats flew away.

All of their bats flew away.

37. Why was the baby snake sad?

Why was the baby snake sad?

Someone took its rattle.- animal jokes

Someone took its rattle.

38. What do you call a pig that loves karate?

What do you call a pig that loves karate?

A pork chop.

A pork chop.

39. What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?

What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish.- animal jokes

You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tuna fish.

40. What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant?

What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant?

Swimming trunks.

Swimming trunks.

41. What do frogs wear in summer?

What do frogs wear in summer?

Open-toad sandals.- animal jokes

Open-toad sandals.

42. What do you call a famous fish?

What do you call a famous fish?

A starfish.

A starfish.

43. What did the cow use to do his math homework?

What did the cow use to do his math homework?

A cow-culator.- animal jokes

A cow-culator.

44. What bird has wings but can’t fly?

What bird has wings but can’t fly?

A dead one.

A dead one.

45. What made the fish blush?

What bird has wings but can’t fly?

A dead one.

It saw the ocean’s bottom.

46. What does a kitty eat for breakfast?

What does a kitty eat for breakfast?

Mice Krispies.- animal jokes

Mice Krispies.

47. Can a kangaroo leap higher than the Empire State Building?

Can a kangaroo leap higher than the Empire State Building?

Yes, because buildings can't jump!

Yes, because buildings can’t jump!

48. What’s a shark’s favorite sandwich?

What’s a shark’s favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.- animal jokes

Peanut butter and jellyfish.

49. What is a marsupial’s favorite drink?

What is a marsupial's favorite drink?

Coca-Koala.

Coca-Koala.

50. How often do chickens work?

How often do chickens work?

Around the cluck.

Around the cluck.

51. Why don’t oysters donate to charity?

Why don't oysters donate to charity?

Because they are shellfish.- animal jokes

Because they are shellfish.

52. Why is the barn so noisy?

Why is the barn so noisy?

Because all the cows have horns.

Because all the cows have horns.

53. Why do French people eat snails?

Why do French people eat snails?

They don't like fast food.

They don’t like fast food.

54. What kind of key opens a banana?

What kind of key opens a banana?

A monkey.- animal jokes

A monkey.

55. Why was the bee’s hair sticky?

Why was the bee’s hair sticky?

It used a honeycomb.

It used a honeycomb.

56. Where do cats go when they lose their tail?

Where do cats go when they lose their tail?

To the re-tail store.

To the re-tail store.

57. How did Noah see the animals in the ark at night?

How did Noah see the animals in the ark at night?

With a floodlight.- animal jokes

With a floodlight.

58. What has more lives than a cat?

What has more lives than a cat?

A frog because it croaks every night.

A frog because it croaks every night.

59. Why don’t cows have feet?

Why don’t cows have feet?

Because they lac-tose.

Because they lac-tose.

60. Did you hear about the killer whale that could play the bassoon?

Did you hear about the killer whale that could play the bassoon?

He joined the orca-stra.- animal jokes

He joined the orca-stra.

61. What do you call a rabbit with fleas?

What do you call a rabbit with fleas?

Bugs bunny.

Bugs bunny.

62. What kind of bear has no teeth?

What kind of bear has no teeth?

A gummy bear.- animal jokes

A gummy bear.

63. What animal is the worst to play a game with?

What animal is the worst to play a game with?

A cheetah.

A cheetah.

64. Why did the duck cross the road?

Why did the duck cross the road?

It was the chicken's day off.

It was the chicken’s day off.

65. Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

Because chickens didn't exist yet.- animal jokes

Because chickens didn’t exist yet.

66. What should you give a feverish dog?

What should you give a feverish dog?

Mustard, because it goes with a hot dog.

Mustard, because it goes with a hot dog.

67. Why did the spider want a computer?

Why did the spider want a computer?

To create a web-site.- animal jokes

To create a web-site.

68. What happened when 500 hares got loose on the highway?

What happened when 500 hares got loose on the highway?

The police had to comb the area.

The police had to comb the area.

69. Why did the pig leave the party?

Why did the pig leave the party?

Because everyone thought he was a boar.

Because everyone thought he was a boar.

70. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?

A thesaurus.- animal jokes

A thesaurus.

71. Where do you find a dog with no legs?

Where do you find a dog with no legs?

Where you left it.

Where you left it.

72. What happens when you shave a crazy sheep?

What happens when you shave a crazy sheep?

Shear madness.- animal jokes

Shear madness.

73. Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

If they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.

If they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.

74. What do you call a sea Transformer?

What do you call a sea Transformer?

Octopus Prime!- animal jokes

Octopus Prime!

75. What kind of milk does a pampered cow produce?

What kind of milk does a pampered cow produce?

Spoilt milk.

Spoilt milk.

76. Where do mice park their boats?

Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory, dickory dock.- animal jokes

At the hickory, dickory dock.

77. What do spiders do online?

What do spiders do online?- animal jokes

They explore the World Wide Web.

78. What did the clean dog say to the bug?

What did the clean dog say to the bug?

Long time no flea.- animal jokes

Long time no flea.

79. Where do you start if a flea has bitten you?

Where do you start if a flea has bitten you?

From scratch.

From scratch.

80. Why are igloos designed to be round?

Why are igloos designed to be round?

To keep polar bears from hiding in the corners.- animal jokes

To keep polar bears from hiding in the corners.

81. What should you give an elephant?

What should you give an elephant?

Plenty of room.

Plenty of room.

82. What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like. He can't hear you anyway.- animal jokes

Anything you like. He can’t hear you anyway.

83. What happened to the cat that swallowed a ball of wool?

What happened to the cat that swallowed a ball of wool?

She had mittens.

She had mittens.

84. What do you call an elephant in a hamper?

What do you call an elephant in a hamper?

Stuck.- animal jokes

Stuck.

85. What happens when you cross a balloon and a porcupine?

What happens when you cross a balloon and a porcupine?

You hear a pop.- animal jokes

You hear a pop.

86. What happened to the frog whose car broke down?

What happened to the frog whose car broke down?

He got toad.

He got toad.

87. Where do hamsters come from?

Where do hamsters come from?

Hamsterdam.- animal jokes

Hamsterdam.

88. Which animal is strongest?

Which animal is strongest?

A snail. It carries its house on its back.

A snail. It carries its house on its back.

89. What has six eyes but cannot see?

What has six eyes but cannot see?

Three blind mice.- animal jokes

Three blind mice.

90. How did they get the hippo down from the tree?

How did they get the hippo down from the tree?

They put him on a leaf and waited until fall.

They put him on a leaf and waited until fall.

91. What happened when the shark tried online dating?

What happened when the shark tried online dating?

He was catfished.- animal jokes

He was catfished.

92. What kind of owl is always out of money?

What kind of owl is always out of money?

A borrowing owl.

A borrowing owl.

93. What did the dolphin say to the fish?

What did the dolphin say to the fish?

You need a porpoise in life.- animal jokes

You need a porpoise in life.

94. Why was the mama robin sad when her chick left the nest?

Why was the mama robin sad when her chick left the nest?

She had empty-nest syndrome.

She had empty-nest syndrome.

95. What do you call a bird who plays sad songs on the guitar?

What do you call a bird who plays sad songs on the guitar?

A blues jay.- animal jokes

A blues jay.

96. Why did the hamster quit his exercise routine?

Why did the hamster quit his exercise routine?

He felt like he was just going around in circles.

He felt like he was just going around in circles.

97. What do you call badgers who keep making lists for their mates?

What do you call badgers who keep making lists for their mates?

Honey-do badgers.- animal jokes

Honey-do badgers.

98. What do you call a porcupine interviewing for a job at a balloon factory?

What do you call a porcupine interviewing for a job at a balloon factory?

Unemployed.

Unemployed.

99. Why was the Australian car towed away?

Why was the Australian car towed away?

It dingo.

It dingo.

100. What do you call a miniature porcupine who steals money from people?

What do you call a miniature porcupine who steals money from people?

A hedge fund hog.- animal jokes

A hedge fund hog.

101. What did the leopard say after finding two quarters and a dime on the ground?

What did the leopard say after finding two quarters and a dime on the ground?

"And they say a leopard can't spot his change."

“And they say a leopard can’t spot his change.”

Want even more jokes like these animal jokes for your students? We’ve got them on numerous topics including math jokes, history jokes, science jokes, grammar jokes, and music jokes.

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Everyone loves a good joke! Share one of these animal jokes for plenty of laughs any time of day or year. These jokes are fur-ociusly funny!