Need a good laugh? Chances are your students do too! After you’ve been working so hard together, you deserve a break. We’ve put together this list of funny dad jokes for kids that you can share in your classroom whenever you need it. Warning: These dad jokes for kids jokes are really cheesy!
Dad jokes can actually teach kids something about language too, especially if they have to use their background knowledge to answer the joke or understand the pun. Jump to your favorite Dad joke topic:
- Dad Jokes about Nature
- Dad Jokes about Animals
- Dad Jokes about Food
- Dad Jokes about Money
- Dad Jokes about School
- Dad Jokes about Technology
- Dad Jokes about Earth and Space
- Dad Jokes about Clothes
- Dad Jokes about Sports
- Halloween Dad Jokes
- Even More Dad Jokes
Plus, we compiled all of our cheesy dad jokes into a Google Slideshow to share with your classroom or amongst friends! Grab your copy of our slideshow by clicking the button below. Skip right to the dad jokes about:
Dad Jokes about Nature
What’s brown and sounds like a bell?
Dung!
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A puddle.
What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree.
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
An abdominal snowman.
How many apples can you grow on a tree?
All of them.
What did the tree say when spring finally arrived?
What a releaf.
What did one snowflake say to the other?
You’re one of a kind.
Why shouldn’t you trust trees?
They seem shady.
What did one leaf say to the other?
I’m falling for you.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved.
Mountains aren’t just funny…
They’re hill areas.
How can you tell if a tree is a dogwood tree?
By its bark.
Where do young trees go to learn?
Elementree school.
Dad Jokes about Animals
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
What kind of fish knows how to do an appendectomy?
A sturgeon.
What’s the best way to catch a fish?
Ask someone to throw it to you.
Why shouldn’t you tell jokes to a duck?
Because they’ll quack up.
Where do birds stay when they travel?
Someplace cheep.
What kind of felines can bowl?
Alley cats.
What do you call an anxious fly?
A jitterbug.
Where do sheep go on vacation?
The Baaaa-hamas.
What should you do if your puppy isn’t feeling well?
Take him to the dog-tor.
Where do penguins go to vote?
The North Poll.
What do you call a fish wearing a crown?
A king salmon.
How much does it cost to swim with sharks?
An arm and a leg.
Why did the rabbit go to the salon?
It was having a bad hare day.
What do you call a sheep with no head and no legs?
A cloud.
What do you call a fish with two knees?
A two-knee fish.
Five ants rented an apartment with another five ants.
Now they are tenants.
What do you call a group of disorganized wolves?
A howl-arious mess.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
Because they lactose.
Why do bees hum?
Because they don’t know the words.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind?
A maybe.
What happens when frogs park illegally?
They get toad.
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.
What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument?
A moo-sician.
What do you call a bear with no socks on?
Bearfoot.
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
What do you call a group of disorganized cats?
A cat-astrophe.
What do you call a dog magician?
A Labracadabrador.
What do you call an owl that does magic tricks?
Hoodini.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus.
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer.
What do you call a pile of cats?
A meowtain.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
Why don’t oysters donate to charity?
Because they are shellfish.
What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
Irrelephant.
Why couldn’t the pony sing a lullaby?
She was a little horse.
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator.
What do you call two birds in love?
Tweethearts.
What do you call a dinosaur that crashes its car?
Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
Why couldn’t the leopard play hide-and-seek?
Because he was always spotted.
What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore.
Where did the cat go after losing its tail?
The retail store.
Why do dragons sleep during the day?
Because they like to fight knights.
What do you call birds that stick together?
Velcrows.
What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?
It’s pasture bed time.
Where does a sheep go to get a haircut?
The baa-baa shop.
Why are fish so easy to weigh?
Because they have their own set of scales.
How do cows introduce their dates?
This is my udder half.
Why wouldn’t the elephant use the computer?
He was afraid of the mous
What do you get when you cross a duck with a firework?
A firequacker.
Why did the spider become a site designer?
Because he had great web skills.
What’s a cat’s favorite color?
Purr-ple.
How do birds learn to fly?
They wing it.
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?
Something catchy.
Why did the ram run over the cliff?
He didn’t see the ewe turn.
What’s more unbelievable than a talking dog?
A spelling bee.
Why shouldn’t you play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
Where do elephants store luggage?
In a trunk.
What do you call a moose with no name?
Anonymoose.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Where’s the one place you should never take your dog?
A flea market.
What do you call a sheep that knows karate?
A lamb chop.
What kind of bird works on a construction site?
A crane.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
What did you call a herd of sheep falling down a hill?
A lambslide.
Why are pigs bad drivers?
They hog the road.
What do dogs and phones have in common?
Both have collar ID.
Why did the duck fall on the sidwalk?
He tripped on a quack.
Did you hear about the whale that swallowed a clown?
It felt funny afterward.
How do you stop a bull from charging?
You cancel its credit card.
Why are fish so smart?
Because they swim in schools.
A horse walks into a bar…
The bartender says, “Why the long face?”
Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected fowl play.
What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
What did the dalmatian say after dinner?
That hit the spot.
Why did the cowboy adopt a wiener dog?
He wanted to get a long little doggie.
Why did the whale blush?
It saw the ocean’s bottom.
What kind of bug can tell time?
A clock-roach.
How do you cook an alligator?
In a Croc-Pot.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a rude cow?
Beef jerky.
How do mice floss their teeth?
With string cheese.
What do pigs use to clean up?
Hogwash.
Wha does a librarian use to go fishing?
A bookworm.
What do you call a line of rabbits walking backward?
A receding hareline.
What kind of jewelry do rabbits wear?
14-carrot gold.
How do you get a squirrel to like you?
Act like a nut.
What’s the best smelling insect?
A deodor-ant.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb.
Dad Jokes about Food
What do cake and baseball have in common?
They both need a batter.
What kind of bagel can travel?
A plain bagel.
What did one potato chip say to the other?
Let’s go for a dip.
Why does the mushroom get invited to all the parties?
Because he’s such a fungi.
How do you make a lemon drop?
Just let it fall.
Why did the cookie cry?
Because his mother was a wafer so long.
Why did the melon jump into the lake?
It wanted to be a watermelon.
What kind of key opens a banana?
A monkey.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
Bison.
What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie?
A python.
Why did the jelly wobble?
Because it saw the milk shake.
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
Because they might peel.
What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?
You’ll rise and shine!
Let out a little wine.
What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield.
What do you give a scientist with bad breath?
Experi-mints.
Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
It was feeling crumby.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling well.
Why do melons have weddings?
Because they cantaloupe.
A cheese factory exploded in France.
Da brie is everywhere!
What is a calendar’s favorite food?
Dates.
How do you make an eggroll?
You push it.
How do you hire a horse?
Put up a ladder.
What do you call a pig who knows how to use a butcher knife?
A pork chop.
How can you tell if a pig is hot?
It’s bacon.
Why did the scarecrow skip dinner?
He was stuffed.
What does a lemon say when it answers the phone?
Yellow?
What’s a ghost’s favorite fruit?
Boo-berries.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
It got mugged.
What did one pickle say to the other?
Dill with it.
What do you call a pancake that tells jokes?
A pun-cake.
What kind of shoes does a banana wear?
Slippers.
Did you hear about the walnut and cashew that threw a party?
It was nuts.
Did you hear about the ice cream truck accident?
It crashed on a rocky road.
What did the hamburger name its baby?
Patty.
Why do bakers work so hard?
Because they knead dough.
What do you call a potato wearing glasses?
A spec-tater.
How does Darth Vader like his bagels?
On the dark side.
Why did the snowman buy a bag of carrots?
He wanted to pick his nose.
Why did the oreo go to the dentist?
It lost its filling.
Why did the orange stop halfway across the road?
It ran out of juice.
Why did the tomato blush?
It saw the salad dressing.
Did you hear about the cold dinner?
It was chili.
How do you fix a tomato?
With tomato paste.
Have you ever had a bad sausage?
It’s the wurst.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
What did one plate say to another plate?
Dinner’s on me tonight.
What kind of car does an egg drive?
A Yolkswagen.
Did you hear the rumor about butter?
Well, I’m not going to spread it!
Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
They’d crack each other up.
Where do fruits go on vacation?
Pear-is.
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese.
What do you call a hot dog on wheels?
Fast food!
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
Dad Jokes about Money
Why did the employee go to work on stilts?
He wanted a raise.
Why did the man bring his watch to the bank?
He wanted to save time.
I used to be a banker…
I lost interest.
How do frogs invest their money?
They use a stock croaker.
What’s the best air to breathe if you want to be rich?
Millionaire.
Why are piggy banks so wise?
They’re filled with common cents.
Dad Jokes about School
When does Friday come before Thursday?
In the dictionary.
I told a bad chemistry joke once.
I got no reaction.
Why did the student eat his homework?
Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
Why should you never use a dull pencil?
Because it’s pointless.
How do bees get to school?
On the school buzz.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
Supplies!
Why was the math book sad?
It had too many problems.
Did you hear about the guy who drank invisible ink?
He’s at the hospital waiting to be seen.
Once I read a book about glue…
I couldn’t put it down.
The past, present, and future walked into a bar..
It was tense.
Why can’t the sailor learn the alphabet?
Because he keeps getting lost at C.
What has more letters than the alphabet?
The post office.
Where do math teachers go on vacation?
Times Square.
Dad Jokes about Technology
How do you make a robot angry?
Keep pushing its buttons.
What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock?
Look, no hands!
What do you get when you cross a fridge with a radio?
Cool music.
Why did the computer go to the doctor?
It had a virus.
Why did the computer get glasses?
To improve its website.
What’s a robot’s favorite type of music?
Heavy metal.
What did Benjamin Franklin say when he discovered electricity?
Nothing. He was too shocked.
Why did the employee get fired?
He wasn’t putting in enough shifts.
Why did the computer go to bed?
It needed to crash.
Why did the computer catch a cold?
It left a window open.
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A can’t opener.
Why did the girl toss a clock out the window?
She wanted to see time fly.
What do computers eat for a snack?
Microchips.
What’s a robot’s favorite snack?
Computer chips.
If you see a crime happen at the Apple store, what does it make you?
An iWitness.
Dad Jokes about Earth and Space
What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea?
It gets wet.
Why did the orchestra get struck by lightning?
It had a conductor.
Did you hear the one about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed a little space.
What type of music do the planets enjoy?
Neptunes.
How do you organize a space party?
You planet.
What sits on the seabed and has anxiety?
A nervous wreck.
What did the earthquake say when it was done?
Sorry, my fault!
What did one volcano say to the other?
I lava you.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
Have you ever tried to catch fog?
I tried yesterday but I mist.
What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer?
The space bar.
Why shouldn’t you trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
Dad Jokes about Clothes
What do clouds wear beneath their pants?
Thunderwear.
What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt!
Why was the belt arrested?
It held up a pair of pants.
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
Sneak-ers.
Why did the phone wear glasses?
Because it lost all its contacts.
What did one hat say to the other?
You go on ahead.
Why did the watch go on vacation?
To unwind.
Why did the deer go to the dentist?
It had buck teeth.
What kind of sandals do frogs wear?
Open-toad.
Why did the tailor get fired?
He wasn’t a good fit.
What sounds like a sneeze and is made of leather?
A shoe.
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
Just in case he got a hole in one.
I went to buy a pair of camouflage pants…
I couldn’t find them.
Where do armies belong?
In your sleevies.
What do you call a belt made of watches?
A waist of time.
Dad Jokes about Sports
How do you light up a sports stadium?
With a soccer match.
Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don’t work out.
What runs but never gets tired?
Water.
What do you call a girl in the middle of a tennis court?
Annette.
Why was the football stadium cold?
There were too many fans.
How did the barber win the race?
He knew a shortcut.
Why did the coach go to the bank?
To get his quarter back.
How do you know when a bike is thinking?
You can see its wheels turning.
Did you hear about the guy who was afraid of hurdles?
He got over it.
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two tired.
Is this pool safe for diving?
It deep ends.
Halloween Dad Jokes
What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?
The living room.
Why do vampires always seem sick?
Because they’re always coffin.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite.
Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts.
What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music.
What do you call a ghost’s true love?
His ghoul-friend.
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick-or-treating?
Because they have no body to go with.
Even More Dad Jokes
How do you make a water bed more bouncy?
Add spring water.
What time is it when the clock strikes 13?
Time to get a new clock.
Why can’t you trust a balloon?
It’s full of hot air.
What should you do if you meet a giant?
Use big words.
How do you get an astronaut’s baby to stop crying?
You rocket.
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent.
Why are elevator jokes so classic and good?
They work on many levels.
Which state has the most streets?
Road Island.
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
He neverlands.
Did you hear about the circus fire?
It was in tents.
Wanna hear a joke about paper?
Never mind—it’s tearable.
Can February March?
No, but April May!
Did you know corduroy pillows are in style?
They’re making head lines.
How do you make a Kleenex dance?
Put a little boogie in it!
What did one wall say to the other?
I’ll meet you at the corner.
Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
Why did the drum go to bed?
It was beat.
Did you hear about the bossy man at the bar?
He ordered everyone a round.
How do celebrities keep cool?
They have many fans.
How can you tell when a comic passes gas?
Something smells funny.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
Summer wasn’t too bad either.
Why did the roofer go to the doctor?
He had shingles.
When is a door not a door?
When it’s a jar.
Did you hear about the broken guitar that’s for sale?
It comes with no strings attached.
What should you do to prevent dry skin?
Don’t use a towel.
What kind of music scares balloons?
Pop music.
Why do nurses like red crayons?
Sometimes they have to draw blood.
Did you hear about the king that went to the dentist?
He needed to get crowns.
Why did the boy bring a ladder on the bus?
He wanted to go to high school.
Did you hear about the woman who couldn’t stop collecting magazines?
She had issues.
What do you give the Dentist of the Year?
A little plaque.
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
It was outstanding in its field.
What invention allows us to see through walls?
Windows.
Why did the nose feel sad?
It was always getting picked on.
What happens when doctors get frustrated?
They lose their patients.
What do you call a happy cowboy?
A jolly rancher.
What did one piece of tape say to the other?
Let’s stick together.
Did you hear about the man who cut off his left leg?
He’s all right now.
What did one elevator say to the other elevator?
I think I’m coming down with something.
What did the blanket say to the bed?
I’ve got you covered.
Not sure if you have noticed, but I love bad puns.
That’s just how eye roll.
Why did the picture go to jail?
It was framed.
What did the roof say to the shingle?
The first one’s on the house.
What has keys but can’t open locks?
A piano.
What do you call a magician who loses his magic?
Ian.
Why was the broom late?
It overswept.
How do you make a water bed more bouncy?
Add spring water.
How does a snowman get around?
By riding an ‘icicle.
What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
A satisfactory.
What did one toilet say to the other?
You appear a bit flushed.
How did the piano get locked out of its car?
It lost its keys.
What’s the best way to make a bandstand?
Take away their chairs.
Why are most people tired on April 1?
They’ve just finished a 31-day March.
When’s the best time to call your dentist?
Tooth-hurty.
Where did people hang out during medieval times?
At knight clubs.
What do you call a fake dad?
A faux pas.
What do kids play when they have nothing else to do?
Bored games.
What did the boy say to his fingers?
I’m counting on you.
Why are calendars always tired?
Because they have too many dates.
What did one elevator say to the other when they broke up?
“I think we’re going in different directions.”
How do pirates prefer to communicate?
Aye to aye!
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