This year, we’ve all adjusted our teaching routines many times. And with those changes in plans has come a whole new vocabulary. Here are the things Zoom teachers say every day, without fail.
1. “Mute button please…please mute. Don’t forget to mute!”
Yeah, this one is pretty much the “Bueller?” of teaching in 2020.
2. “I’m waiting for Anna to unmute. Anna, do you need help unmuting? Click the microphone button, Anna.”
And with muting comes unmuting. Always a wait. Always a struggle.
3. “We’ll meet back here in five minutes. That’s 9:20. Please be back at 9:20. Here, I’ll set 35 timers to remind you.”
Hey, whatever works, right?
4. “Okay, now that we’ve all said hello to Jose’s puppy, it’s time to get back to multiplication.”
To be fair, the puppies are the best part of Zoom teaching.
5. “Please pull down your shirt/put on pants/tell your dad to put on pants.”
We’re all for a relaxed dress code during virtual learning, but no underwear please.
6. “The assignment is in Seesaw/Google Classroom/wherever else I’ve been posting assignments all year but get asked about every day.”
The assignment is always in Seesaw.
7. “Hmm, I guess my class roster has a Frankenstein and a Taylor Swift now.”
Oh, the joys of changing your name on Zoom.
8. “Please don’t lick the screen.”
Okay, if you teach big kids you might not have to say this. But you can feel the kinder teacher pain.
9. “I’m sure that bird/baby brother/video game is interesting, but can I please have your attention?”
Virtual classroom distractions are like regular classroom distractions amped up to eleven.
10. “I can’t wait until we’re all back together again, either.”
We’ll miss teaching in our pajamas, but we can’t wait to go back to school. Hopefully soon.
What are the things Zoom teachers say that we missed? Please share in the comments! Plus, get more teacher funnies by subscribing to our newsletter.