Expecting kids to do their homework. Read the instructions. Click “submit” on Google Classroom. Jeez. Could teachers be any meaner? We rounded up all the rotten things teachers do every day to ruin kids’ lives. Read it and weep.
1. You monster
“I had a parent report me to the principal for walking around the classroom and asking her son and the other students to complete their assignments.” —Julie
2. How. Dare. You.
“I made them miss gym because there was an assembly … that I didn’t schedule.” —Rhonda
3. The nerve
“A student said to me, ‘I’m getting a headache because you’re making me think!'” —Paula
4. “I did it in my head”
“Math teacher here … I make my kids show their work!” —Kellie
5. A wicked plot
“At the end of the school year, I have the audacity to send my departing 8th graders a survey to their school email to indicate their favorite kind of candy and cookie so I can make them special treat bags. I always get one or two who ask me why they have to tell me what their favorite cookie or candy is and if the survey is graded.”
“I require kids to actually PRACTICE for band outside of the half hour a week for band class.” —Richard
7. Qué barbaridad
“I expect students to use Spanish sentences in their homework. Because, you know … it’s Spanish class.” —Brandi
8. Hallway police
“I ask kids to be careful while walking and staring at their phones.” —Elizabeth
9. Captain unfun
“I won’t let my students play chase around the library shelves.” —Jennifer S.
10. Jacket horror
“I make students wear winter coats, hats, and gloves outside at recess. When it’s 20 degrees. I’m so awful.” —Jen
11. The cruelties of annotation …
“I make my kids underline and highlight in their text so they actually have to read their stories instead of just copying answers from their friends. I’m a monster!” —Jennifer
12. … and complete sentences
“I ask them to write in complete sentences, even though THAT TAKES WAY TOO LONG.” —Sue
13. Oh, the audacity
“I greet my students in the mornings at my classroom door and expect them to say ‘good morning’ back to me instead of walking by and ignoring me.” —Debora
14. Seating chart cruelty
“I don’t let my students sit with people who distract them because I want them to do well.” —Sarah
15. Murderous manners
“I had the temerity to suggest that the proper response to a teacher-provided doughnut was ‘thank you,’ not ‘I WANTED one with sprinkles.'” —Lori
16. Old-fashioned research
“I make my students walk all the way across the classroom for a dictionary, even though I could just spell the word for them, which would be WAY EASIER.” —Tabby
17. So mean
“I require them to write their names on their papers if they would like to receive credit for their work. WHAT am I thinking???” —Karen
18. Ridiculous expectations
“I make them READ in reading class!” —Whitney
19. How could you?
“I make them take off their hats in my classroom, even when they have really BAD hat hair!” —Laura
20. Grammar guru
“I ask them to begin sentences with a capital letter and end them with correct punctuation, even though ‘people don’t always do that anymore.’ (Sounds like I’m mean AND old-fashioned).” —Sherry
21. Weekend warriors
“I require my students to read for 20 to 30 minutes every night of the week, even though it ‘totally ruins their weekends!'” —Kathleen
22. Why revise when it’s already perfect?
“I make my students ‘waste’ their time rereading and editing their own writing even though it’s SO BORING.” —Kiley
23. Teacher of the year
“I made my students quiet down before dismissing them at the bell. It robbed them of 12 precious seconds of their passing time, which caused them to be tardy to their subsequent classes. One kid was 10 minutes late, which was ALL MY FAULT.” —Erin
24. I think you’re asking too much
“I make my students bring a pencil to class, even though they can’t be expected to remember EVERYTHING.” —Karen
25. What’s the point of cursive anyway?
“I make my students take their spelling tests in cursive, since we spent the first half of the year learning it—which is dumb ‘because cursive has nothing to do with spelling.'” —Selena
26. Wicked witch
“I won’t let my students listen to music on their smartphones during class even though EVERY other teacher in the WHOLE world lets them.” —Phend
27. Get with the times
“I wore school colors on our school’s spirit day. Turns out I’m ‘waaaay too old to celebrate things like that.'” —Erin
28. Way too time-consuming
“I make my second graders write a rough draft and a final copy of their writing. Oh, the humanity! Kids pout and huff and puff every time, and it STILL doesn’t change my mind.” —Abby
29. But they need to socialize!
“I expect my students to do work during group project time, even though there are MORE IMPORTANT things they need to talk about.” —Paula
30. Barefoot in the park
“I asked a student to leave his shoes on at recess. You know, so he doesn’t hurt his feet stepping on anything.” —Erica
31. But, but … Siri knows everything!
“I make my students take their school provided calculators out of their backpacks instead of using Siri.” —Allison
32. A regular Scrooge
“I made my students personalized cups with their names on it for Christmas. Two came up to me to let me know that they would have preferred a different color.” —Madison
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Plus, Tales from the Drop Off Line.