Whether you’re an English teacher, reading specialist, or just a grammar nerd, we get you. Much of the We Are Teachers staff are self-proclaimed grammar junkies, and we embrace it. Don’t ask us about the Oxford comma, though. We’re a divided group on that one. However, we can all agree that these grammar jokes and grammar puns are funny. Print them or put them up in your classroom when you or your students need a good laugh.
1. You can’t go wrong with alphabet puns.
2. Good morning, sunshine!
3. Everyone loves a good knock-knock joke.
4. This one is for fans of The Office.
5. Some things cannot be avoided.
6. Does this make you hungry?
7. A little courtroom humor is always appreciated.
8. It’s a journey …
9. This is for those who like to fly under the radar.
10. It’s a real pain in the …
11. It’s grammar girl power!
12. This will make your teacher proud.
13. Can you relate?
14. What a moment!
15. One of these is furry …
16. Build a strong relationship.
17. So full of holiday cheer.
18. A beastly genius …
19. So sad when this happens …
20. Sounds delicious!
21. Decisions, decisions …
22. Gotta keep an eye on it!
23. Sometimes less is more.
24. I didn’t see that one coming.
25. That’s a mouthful!
26. Uh-oh …
27. You just shouldn’t do it.
28. It’s absolutely disgusting!
29. So soothing.
30. His own worth enemy …
31. The perfect itinerary!
32. Must be out of this world!
33. They’re totally different …
“When is a door not a door?”
“When it’s ajar.”
34. Sometimes it’s so obvious.
A word in this sentence is mispelled.
35. Not even if I were starving …
“Let’s eat Grandma!”
“Let’s eat, Grandma!”
Punctuation saves lives.
36. Victory is there’s … or theirs?
Every time you make a typo, the errorists win.
37. It’s a long time!
Seven days without a pun make one weak.
38. This one is pushing it …
You can’t run through a campground. You can only ran, because it’s past tents.
39. Know your limits!
What did the period say to the sentence?
“We better stop now!”
40. So cheesy.
Do you comma here often?
41. In a classroom far, far away …
Metaphors be with you.
42. Hmm …
One night a man and a woman walked into the bar they left. Who remains?
43. It’s the best!
What’s a teacher’s favorite nation?
44. It goes on and on.
What’s the longest word in the dictionary?
Rubberband—because it stretches.
45. Must have been lonely.
When I was young, there were only 25 letters in the alphabet.
Nobody knew Y.
46. Makes sense.
Name a bus you can never enter.
47. It still sounds funny!
A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar. No joke.
48. Who’s going to tell them?
I invented a new word! Plagiarism.
49. Time for a fresh cup.
What begins with T, ends with T, and has T in it?
50. Tom, meet Jerry.
How do you spell mousetrap?
51. It’s a struggle. Every. Day.
My life is a constant battle between wanting to correct grammar and wanting to have friends.
52. This is a classic.
What is black and white and red all over?
53. Oh. No.
“Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.” —Anonymous
54. The pirate’s life for me!
What letter of the alphabet is filled with water?
55. It’s just so simple.
How do you make seven even?
Remove the S.
56. No wonder I’m always freezing!
Why are writers always cold?
They’re surrounded by drafts.
57. Take control of your fate!
Never leave alphabet soup on the stove and then go out.
It could spell disaster.
58. Less. It’s less.
So many people are bothered about correct grammar.
I couldn’t care fewer.
59. Line up!
What letter of the alphabet is always waiting in order?
The Q (queue).
60. Just sitting in silence.
Last night someone broke into my classroom and stole all of the dictionaries.
I’m lost for words.
61. So bossy!
Comma said, “I think we should slow down for a while.”
Full stop replied, “We’d better just stop right now!”
62. Some things are so literal …
What is at the end of the rainbow?
The letter W.
Saying “I’m sorry” is the same as saying “I apologize.” Except at a funeral.
64. They got what they deserved.
“You need to be less selfish. Remember, it’s cact-us.”
“Actually, the plural is ‘cact-i.'”
65. Stay focused.
Wife: “You need to do more chores around the house.”
Husband: “Can we change the subject?”
Wife: “OK, more chores around the house need to be done by you.”
66. It’s direct.
Can you spell composition with two letters?
67. Can’t be trusted.
Why do sperm cells look like commas and apostrophes?
They often interrupt periods and lead to contractions.
68. They’re going down either way.
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
69. Sounds rough.
Did you hear about the pregnant woman who started shouting, “Couldn’t! Wouldn’t! Shouldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”?
She was having contractions.
Is there a word that uses all the vowels including y?
71. You can’t make this up.
Hyphenated and non-hyphenated. Ah, the ironies of English!
72. He doesn’t listen …
My brother gave his teacher a thank-you note that said “Your a good teacher.” I’m not so sure!
73. Wait a minute …
What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?
74. Do accountants handle that?
There is a special tax suitable for people who destroy the English language. It is called syntax.
75. It’s all about perspective.
Why is nostalgia like grammar?
We find the present tense and the past perfect.
76. That didn’t go as planned.
John was excited because his local newspaper was hosting a pun contest. He stayed up all night carefully creating ten puns. He submitted them the next morning. When the results came back, John checked to see if he won but, alas, no pun in ten did.
77. Why is it so hard to say “thank you”?
What did the intransitive verb say when told it was pretty?
Nothing. Intransitive verbs can’t take complements.
78. It takes some effort.
English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
79. He needed to go.
I was a surgeon with bad punctuation.
I got fired for leaving out a colon.
80. Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time …
What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?
It was given two consecutive sentences.
81. So philosophical.
The past is history, the future a mystery. But today is a gift. That’s why they call it the present.
A question mark walks into a bar?
83. Very chill.
Why is the B so cool?
Because it’s in between AC.
84. It’s all hieroglyphics to me.
An ancient Egyptian student is chiseling his essay into a stone. His teacher says, “No, you should never end a sentence with an ox.”
85. It’s all about taking chances.
There are three things that I love: the Oxford comma, irony, and missed opportunities.
86. Stay sharp!
As I struggled in the class with a dull pencil, my teacher looked at me and said, “Writing with a broken pencil is pointless.”
87. Make a good impression.
One night an owl said “Whom” instead of who, and my father exclaimed, “Now, that’s a classy owl right there!”
88. … right?
English teachers are always write!
89. An essential question.
My classmate was late for class, and he said, “It was raining cats and dogs.” To which our teacher smiled and asked him, “Did you step in a poodle?”
90. That’s a genre, right?
I want to be a great lyricist so I wrote a song about tortillas. It is actually just a wrap.
91. So much gratitude.
Thank you for explaining the meaning of “many.” It means a lot.
92. Gotta have the right skills.
The criminal’s greatest asset will be his lie ability.
93. Punctuation is important.
The doctor laughed at the patient’s symptoms: “Unable to eat diarrhea!”
94. Or some variation of that.
When the English majors got married, the pastor said, “I now pronouns you, he and she.”
95. Not the best decision …
The teacher did not promote the Braille language as it was too touchy.
96. That menu sounds iffy.
We were a bit alarmed when the young girl wrote, “I like cooking my family and pets.”
97. Literally cheesy.
Which cheese is made backward?
98. Must be uplifting.
My sister is reading a book on anti-gravity. She can’t put it down.
99. Is that a new shade?
What is the color of the wind?
100. Could be worse!
What is at the end of the world?
The letter D.
101. Green with envy.
Can you spell jealousy with just two letters?