Staff meetings. You can’t live without them, you can’t sleep through them (although more than a few of us have tried!). We asked our Facebook friends to share some of their funny staff meeting stories and boy, did the deliver! Take a break from your stressful day and laugh along.
Note: some quotes have been edited for clarity and length.
Well, That’s One Way To Do It
On my first day at my school, we had the windows open because it was really hot in the staff room. The local gulls were very raucous and it was difficult to concentrate. One of my colleagues got up, went outside, and ran around, flapping her arms and making gull-ish noises. The birds took off, and she came and sat back down without a word. —Rachel M.
In My Defense
We were doing self-defense training in the gym and as the young, fit P.E. teacher, I was chosen to do the “escape from an intruder” demonstration. The police officer aimed a laser gun at me and told me to run. I ducked and started sprinting around everyone seated at their tables. When I got to the end of my lap, I tripped over my own feet. In an attempt to play it off, I did a volleyball dive and roll. I got a huge round of applause and the officer was shocked at how elusive I was! —Lisa B.
Did She Really Just?
In a PD Zoom meetings, one of my colleagues set a background that read “When I die, I hope it’s in a teachers’ meeting because the transition from life to death will be so subtle.” True … and hilarious! —Jenn L.
Man, That’s Just Gross
At the opening day staff meeting of our new building, our Assistant Superintendent declared he wanted to be ‘the first’. Then he took his gum out of his mouth and stuck it to the bottom of a lunch table. Worse, he then pulled it back off and put it back in his mouth. —Rachele K.
My principal announced with pride that he had labored long and hard to write a grant proposal and submit it before the deadline. He forgot I was there. I quickly piped up that it was actually ME that spent 12 hours writing it and ME that hand-delivered the proposal before deadline. Never seen a redder face than his! —Ali M.
What’s the Buzz All About?
A yellow jacket flew up my dress during our FIRST virtual school meeting. Forgetting the video feed and my camera being on, I jumped up and lifted my dress to get the wasp out (I’d already been stung once on my inner thigh.) Then I remembered the camera. —Sabrina M.
Do I Get a Prize?
I pulled a crown off of a tooth (not on purpose—stupid Laffy Taffy) and raised my hand. In the middle of a serious discussion, just like the kids, I announced “I lost a tooth!” —Sara T.
I have pet hermit crabs in my classroom. Every week I put them in a small Tupperware with saltwater for a bath. One managed to climb out, jump off my desk, and crawl right in between my principal’s legs mid-meeting! —Jess S.
A teacher misspoke and called the principal Master Bates, instead of Mister Bates. We all lost it. —Donna M.
We had a Zoom staff meeting, but all of the fifth grade teachers and specialists were in my classroom. I have yoga balls instead of chairs and our P.E. teacher, who is a brick house of a guy, sat on the yoga ball. One of my colleagues turned and said, “Joe, your ball is dropping” to which he replied, “That’s not what a man of my age wants to hear.” We all lost it. —Laura U.
This Kid’s a Wiz
Our staff meetings are held in the cafeteria that looks out into the courtyard. As we looked out the window, an eighth grade student decided that peeing on the building, in the courtyard, was a good idea. —Rachel Y.
Talk to the Hands
My department head talks with her hands. Not just small hand gestures either, mind you. All of her arms, all the way up to her shoulders. I swear she tries to take flight! One day at a staff meeting, the assistant principal moved a little too close to her and WHAM! She clocked him in the nose! The poor man flew backward and got a black eye and a bloody nose from the impact! —Zach J.
Silence that Ring!
One teacher’s cell phone rang in the middle of a faculty meeting. The ring tone was “Pour Some Sugar on Me.” He was mortified and has since denied that it ever happened. —Amy K.
A former principal threw a copy of our vision statement across the room because no one could repeat it. He thought the window was plexiglass, but it was real glass. The meeting got REAL quiet after that. —Cristy E.
A staff member brought a fart machine to a staff meeting and randomly set it off. People were giggling and couldn’t stop. Thankfully our principal took it all in stride and stated, “If one of you needs to excuse yourself, please do.” Hilarious! —Susan E.
Our tech director demonstrated an app on a huge wall-sized TV. The app allows you to see what your students are looking at on their laptops. She chose one of her after school classes to demonstrate and clicked on one student to magnify what was on his screen. The kid had about 25 windows of porn in action. —Heather P.
That Takes Some Nerve
One teacher got up when the principal wasn’t looking and moved the clock ahead 30 minutes. —Mike E.
It’s Getting Hot Up in Here
At our first staff meeting of the year, the principal had just come in and set down tons of paperwork to pass out. It was very hot in the room. The janitor, who wasn’t even supposed to be in the meeting, got up and turned the fan on full blast. Papers flew everywhere! Hilarious! —Keith H.
No, It’s Not What You Think
I was 41 weeks pregnant with an ice pack on my propped up, swollen ‘cankles’. I shifted, the ice pack exploded all over, and everyone thought my water broke. —Kristen S.
Is This Thing On?
I was on a virtual grade level meeting on Google Meet that seemed never-ending. I had another appointment coming up and my stress and frustration was building. My niece walked by and I said to her in a very loud voice, “THIS STUPID MEETING IS NEVER ENDING!” Crickets. And then the VP’s voice, “Dawn, we can hear you.” Everyone burst out laughing. I was horrified. I could have sworn I was muted! —Dawn M.
Well, That’s Awkward
At one of our staff meetings, a male teacher (who was set to retire at the end of the year) announced at the beginning, “Can we get this over quickly? I just took a Viagra and it will be kicking in soon.” Quickest staff meeting I’ve ever been to. —Michael F.
We always had snacks at our faculty meetings. One of my colleagues got up from her seat to throw something away, then sat down in the wrong seat and started eating someone else’s food by mistake. The meeting went off the rails for a minute as everyone started cracking up. —Tim W.
During a staff meeting, one of the teachers sat under the wall hand sanitizer dispenser and it automatically squirted all over his shoulder. —Melissa T.
In the middle of a very long staff meeting, I fell asleep and others took photos of me. Let’s just say many memes were created that day. —Bryce W.
Attack of the Tiny Robot
One staff meeting I chased the principal around the library with a Sphero robot the size of a golf ball. He was totally freaked out because he couldn’t tell who was controlling it. —Carrie M.
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