80 Biology Jokes That Will Crack You Up

So funny they “cell” themselves!

Biology Jokes Feature

Need a good laugh? Is teaching biology getting a little bit intimidating? Lighten the mood in the classroom by sharing some of these biology jokes—eye-rolls guaranteed. These side-splitting biology jokes are certain to have you and your students cracking up!

Molecular Biology Jokes

1. Why do coaches love the powerhouse of the cell? 

Why do coaches love the powerhouse of the cell? 

Because mitochondria have a “CHON-do” attitude.

Because mitochondria have a “CHON-do” attitude.

2. Did you hear about the physicist who divorced the biologist? 

Did you hear about the physicist who divorced the biologist? 

They said that the chemistry was missing in their lives.

They said that the chemistry was missing in their lives.

3. Why did the gene go for a massage? 

Why did the gene go for a massage? 

So it could relax and unwind.

So it could relax and unwind.

4. How did the lawyer defend his client, the smelly cheese? 

How did the lawyer defend his client, the smelly cheese? 

"Your honor, you have to look at the culture he was raised in!”- biology jokes

“Your honor, you have to look at the culture he was raised in!”

5. What did biologists wear back in the 1970s? 

What did biologists wear back in the 1970s? 

Bell-bottom genes!

Bell-bottom genes!

6. Why was the yeast cell depressed?

Why was the yeast cell depressed?

Her parents just split.

Her parents just split.

7. Two biochemists walk into a bar. 

Two biochemists walk into a bar. 

The first one says, “I’ll have some H2O please!” The second one says, “I’d like some H2O too!”

They clink their glasses and the second biochemist drops dead!

The first one says, “I’ll have some H2O please!” The second one says, “I’d like some H2O too!”

They clink their glasses and the second biochemist drops dead!

8. Did you hear about the daily special at the isotope store?

Did you hear about the daily special at the isotope store?

Buy an atom, get an extra neutron free of charge! 

Buy now before half our inventory disappears!- biology jokes

Buy an atom, get an extra neutron free of charge! 

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Buy now before half our inventory disappears!

9. What did the biologist write on a Valentine’s Day card?

What did the biologist write on a Valentine's Day card?

I wish I were adenine so I could get paired with U!

I wish I were adenine so I could get paired with U!

10. What is the greatest artistic monument to proteins?

What did the biologist write on a Valentine's Day card?

I wish I were adenine so I could get paired with U!

The Cysteine Chapel.

Ecology Biology Jokes

11. What did the car manufacturer say about his carbon footprint?

What did the car manufacturer say about his carbon footprint?

Carbon footprint? Non-existent. I drive absolutely everywhere!- biology jokes

Carbon footprint? Non-existent. I drive absolutely everywhere!

12. Did you hear about the power plant that was bad for the environment all year long?

Did you hear about the power plant that was bad for the environment all year long?

He got coal for Christmas.

He got coal for Christmas.

13. Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

He was outstanding in his field.

He was outstanding in his field.

14. What kind of plant grows in your hand?

What kind of plant grows in your hand?

A palm tree.

A palm tree.

15. Where’s the best place for a horse to grow up?

Where’s the best place for a horse to grow up?

In a stable environment.- biology jokes

In a stable environment.

16. What is orange, about 70 years old, has caused enormous damage to the environment, and is a great embarrassment to the United States?

What is orange, about 70 years old, has caused enormous damage to the environment, and is a great embarrassment to the United States?

Agent orange. (What did you think I was talking about?!)

Agent orange. (What did you think I was talking about?!)

17. An environmentalist told me that forest area about the size of a football field is cut every hour in the Amazon rainforest.

An environmentalist told me that forest area about the size of a football field is cut every hour in the Amazon rainforest.

No wonder Brazil is so good at football.

No wonder Brazil is so good at football.

18. What vegetable do environmentalists like the most?

What vegetable do environmentalists like the most?

Green peas.

Green peas.

19. What do you call anti-environmental hip-hop?

What do you call anti-environmental hip-hop?

Plastic rap.- biology jokes

Plastic rap.

20. Two spiders are on a date.

Two spiders are on a date.

The male spider asks, "So why are you single?"

The female spider answers, "Oh, I’m a widow."

The male spider asks, “So why are you single?”

The female spider answers, “Oh, I’m a widow.”

Anatomy Biology Jokes

21. What did the femur say to the patella?

What did the femur say to the patella?

"I kneed you."

“I kneed you.”

22. Why did the medical student fail anatomy?

Why did the medical student fail anatomy?

She just couldn't cut it.

She just couldn’t cut it.

23. What has 13 hearts but no organs?

What has 13 hearts but no organs?

A deck of cards.- biology jokes

A deck of cards.

24. Are male and female reproductive organs similar?

Are male and female reproductive organs similar?

No. There’s a vas deferens!

No. There’s a vas deferens!

25. What do skeletons use to cut through objects?

What do skeletons use to cut through objects?

Their shoulder blades.

Their shoulder blades.

26. Why did the skeleton take acting classes?

Why did the skeleton take acting classes?

It wanted tibia star!

It wanted tibia star!

27. What unit of measurement do you use to weigh bones?

What unit of measurement do you use to weigh bones?

 Skele-tons.

 Skele-tons.

28. Did you hear about the skeleton that dropped out of medical school?

Did you hear about the skeleton that dropped out of medical school?

It didn’t have the stomach for it!- biology jokes

It didn’t have the stomach for it!

29. Why are skeletons so calm?

Why are skeletons so calm?

Nothing gets under their skin.

Nothing gets under their skin.

30. Why did the skeleton go to the party alone?

Why did the skeleton go to the party alone?

Because he had no body to join him.

Because he had no body to join him.

31. What did one eye say to the other?

What did one eye say to the other?

Just between us, something really smells!

Just between us, something really smells!

32. Why is the brain a fan of cosmetics?

Why is the brain a fan of cosmetics?

It helps to "make up" its mind!- biology jokes

It helps to “make up” its mind!

33. What happened to the bear with a bad heart?

What happened to the bear with a bad heart?

It went into Kodiak arrest.

It went into Kodiak arrest.

34. Which bone can’t be trusted? 

Which bone can’t be trusted? 

The fib-ula.

The fib-ula.

35. Why don’t six-legged insects get sick? 

Why don’t six-legged insects get sick? 

They have strong anty-bodies!

They have strong anty-bodies!

36. Did you hear about the place that had no viruses? 

Did you hear about the place that had no viruses? 

They all flu away.

They all flu away.

37. Did you hear about the blood cells that fell in love and started a family? 

Did you hear about the blood cells that fell in love and started a family? 

Sadly, it was all in vein.- biology jokes

Sadly, it was all in vein.

38. What did the biologist say to the chemist to get a date?

What did the biologist say to the chemist to get a date?

"Are you made of sulfur monoxide, copper, and tellurium? Because you are SO CuTe!"

“Are you made of sulfur monoxide, copper, and tellurium? Because you are SO CuTe!”

39. Why are bacteria like hipsters?

Why are bacteria like hipsters?

They were on Earth long before it was cool.

They were on Earth long before it was cool.

40. Where do microbiologists go to relax?

Where do microbiologists go to relax?

Places of high culture.

Places of high culture.

41. Why don’t yogurt and amoxicillin get along?

Why don’t yogurt and amoxicillin get along?

One is pro-biotic and the other is anti-biotic!- biology jokes

One is pro-biotic and the other is anti-biotic!

Physiology Biology Jokes

42. The white blood cells and antibodies kicked all the germs out of the party.

The white blood cells and antibodies kicked all the germs out of the party.

The germs said, “Well, fine, you weren’t a very good host anyway.”

The germs said, “Well, fine, you weren’t a very good host anyway.”

43. Why is the nervous system considered reckless?

Why is the nervous system considered reckless?

Because it does everything on impulse.

Because it does everything on impulse.

44. What did the blood cell say before it died in an artery?

What did the blood cell say before it died in an artery?

"I will not go down in vein!"

“I will not go down in vein!”

45. What did the biologist say to the patient who was afraid of donating blood? 

What did the biologist say to the patient who was afraid of donating blood? 

Don’t be such A negative person. Try to B positive!- biology jokes

Don’t be such A negative person. Try to B positive!

Marine Biology Jokes

46. Why can’t you trust marine biologists?

Why can’t you trust marine biologists?

Something about them feels ... fishy!

Something about them feels … fishy!

47. What do you call a group of killer whales that play music together?

What do you call a group of killer whales that play music together?

An orca-stra!

An orca-stra!

48. What is a fish’s favorite vacation destination?

What is a fish’s favorite vacation destination?

Finland.

Finland.

49. Why do fish never go on vacation?

Why do fish never go on vacation?

 Because they are always in school.- biology jokes

 Because they are always in school.

50. Why did the octopus cross the road?

Why did the octopus cross the road?

To get to the other tide.

To get to the other tide.

51. What kind of fish goes well with peanut butter?

What kind of fish goes well with peanut butter?

Jellyfish.

Jellyfish.

52. What do you call a fish that’s a natural-born leader?

What do you call a fish that’s a natural-born leader?

A school principal.- biology jokes

A school principal.

53. Why did the whale blush?

Why did the whale blush?

Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!

Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!

54. How do you end a conversation with a marine biologist?

How do you end a conversation with a marine biologist?

You “wave” goodbye and say “sea” you later!

You “wave” goodbye and say “sea” you later!

Biochemistry Biology Jokes

55. How do biochemists find a mate? 

How do biochemists find a mate? 

Carbon dating.- biology jokes

Carbon dating.

56. Did you hear about the biochemist who spilled a beaker of sodium chloride? 

Did you hear about the biochemist who spilled a beaker of sodium chloride? 

He was charged with a salt and battery!

He was charged with a salt and battery!

57. What do biochemists call a boring idiot? 

What do biochemists call a boring idiot? 

A boron.

A boron.

58. A guy sits at the bar and says “man, have I got some problems.” 

A guy sits at the bar and says “man, have I got some problems.” 

The bartender responds, “Don’t worry, I’ve got plenty of solutions!”- biology jokes

The bartender responds, “Don’t worry, I’ve got plenty of solutions!”

59. A cation says to a store owner, “I’ve lost an electron.” The owner asks, “Are you sure you lost it?”

A cation says to a store owner, “I’ve lost an electron.” The owner asks, “Are you sure you lost it?”

The cation says, “Yes, I’m positive!”

The cation says, “Yes, I’m positive!”

60. Why do biochemists like nitrates so much?

Why do biochemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates!

They’re cheaper than day rates!

61. Why did the biochemist break up with her boyfriend?

Why did the biochemist break up with her boyfriend?

 He was too basic.

 He was too basic.

62. What did the DNA wife ask her DNA husband before they went out?

What did the DNA wife ask her DNA husband before they went out?

"Do these genes make me look fat?"- biology jokes

“Do these genes make me look fat?”

63. How do biologists communicate with one another?

How do biologists communicate with one another?

On their cell phones.

On their cell phones.

64. What do you do with a bunch of dead biochemists? 

What do you do with a bunch of dead biochemists? 

You barium!

You barium!

65. Ever hear about the biochemists they froze at absolute zero? 

Ever hear about the biochemists they froze at absolute zero? 

They were 0 K!

They were 0 K!

Botany Biology Jokes

66. What did the husband say when he bought the wrong flowers?

What did the husband say when he bought the wrong flowers?

“Whoopsie ... Daisy!”

“Whoopsie … Daisy!”

67. Why did the plant break up with his ex-girlfriend flower?

Why did the plant break up with his ex-girlfriend flower?

She has a real violet streak.

She has a real violet streak.

68. Why don’t flowers bike to school in the winter?

Why don’t flowers bike to school in the winter?

They lose all their petals.

They lose all their petals.

69. Why did the algae marry the fungus?

Why did the algae marry the fungus?

They took a lichen to each other.- biology jokes

They took a lichen to each other.

70. Why don’t plant cells ever win races?

Why don't plant cells ever win races?

Because they're always rooted to the spot.

Because they’re always rooted to the spot.

71. Why didn’t the dandelion buy a brand-new car?

Why didn’t the dandelion buy a brand-new car? 

Because plants are always a “hard cell.”- biology jokes

Because plants are always a “hard cell.”

72. Why do Moss and Ivy make excellent friends?

Why do Moss and Ivy make excellent friends?

 They really grow on you after a while.- biology jokes

 They really grow on you after a while.

Biology Jokes and Puns

73. I don’t think marine biology is the right major for me.

I don't think marine biology is the right major for me.

My grades are below C-level.

My grades are below C-level.

74. I don’t know about you but …

I don’t know about you but ...

Myelin really gets on my nerves!

Myelin really gets on my nerves!

75. We dissected two cow eyes in class today.

We dissected two cow eyes in class today.

The jokes got cornea and cornea!- biology jokes

The jokes got cornea and cornea!

76. A tulip asked a daisy if it was hungry. 

A tulip asked a daisy if it was hungry. 

The daisy said, “I really could go for a light snack.”- biology jokes

The daisy said, “I really could go for a light snack.”

77. Never steal jokes.

Never steal jokes.

Recycle them!- biology jokes

Recycle them!

78. If I rode my bike to school and back …

If I rode my bike to school and back ...

Does that count as re-cycling?

Does that count as re-cycling?

79. A twirling maple seed just planted itself directly from the tree.

A twirling maple seed just planted itself directly from the tree.

It was a breeze.

It was a breeze.

80. There’s a rumor in the air about a new bacteria.

There’s a rumor in the air about a new bacteria.

But don’t spread it around!- biology jokes

But don’t spread it around!

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Plus, check out Cheesy Teacher Jokes That Make Us Laugh Out Loud.

These biology jokes are perfect when you need a good laugh. In fact, they're so funny, they simply “cell” themselves!