Teachers Share 23 Outrageous Things Students Have Actually Said

You never know what will come out of their mouths! Take a look at the completely hilarious and totally true phrases that students have said to their teachers.

Surprised contemplating little boy in glasses solving a problem. Studio shot portrait over gray background. Fashionable little boy.

Kids can really say the darndest things, which makes teaching unexpected, entertaining, and never dull. We recently asked our teachers on Facebook to share some of the most funny and outrageous things that students have said to them. These are positively delightful. Enjoy!

1. “Oh I can’t wear my new glasses in your class because it’s math. The doctor said they are just for reading.” —Debra D.


2. Teacher: “Do you like to do your homework in the morning, after school, or at night?”
Student: “Well…my mom does my homework…so I don’t even know how to answer this question!” —Robin W.

3. While watching a Walking with Dinosaurs video, a student said to me, “Is this actual footage?” —Cate W.


4. A students once complained to me that another student called him the E word. I didn’t know what it was so I asked, and the student replied, “Idiot.” —Lana G.


5. I once made the comment in class that if your parents have glasses, then you will probably end up having to get glasses, too. One of my students yelled out, “Oh no! My mom has glasses! Oh wait…I’m adopted!” —Michelle C.

6. “You’re pretty for an old person.” —Christy T.


7. “I don’t know my ancestors because I’m only 8, but when you were alive during the Pilgrim time did YOU know my ancestors?” —Sarah E.

8. “Did you put white highlights in your hair?!” (It was my grey showing through.) —Vonni D.

9. I wrote this on the whiteboard during discussion: William Shakespeare (1564-1616), and a sixth grader asks me, “Is that Shakespeare’s real phone number?” —Kevin M.

10. “I used to write my name in cursive. Now I just write it in English.” —Monty P.


11. I didn’t give a 5-year-old a sticker because he hadn’t earned it. He burst into tears and said, “When I grow up and become a man, I’m going to buy stickers and I’m not going to give you any.” —Nicole B.

12. After a stressful day, I declared out loud that I’d had it for the day. One of my precocious little pre-K girls said to me, “Oh Mrs. S. you just need a wine cooler.”  —Deana S.


13. “How do you spell UFO?” —Jennifer C.

14. From a middle schooler who doesn’t like school: “Miss Polly, you are okay for a teacher. I hate you less than others.” —Polly W.

15. I had a water bottle with a tea packet in it when a student asked me if it was beer. I told him no, and he replied, “Well you should because my dad says it takes the edge off.” —Shanna R.

16. I was asking some of my students if they’d ever gone apple picking, and one of my PreK girls responded with, “No, my car only goes to the supermarket.” —Tiz N.


17. “You aren’t mean like some of kids say, you’re just loud!” —Mary D.

18. “Do you remember the Civil War?” —Vicky V.

19. “Ms. Lopez, I got out of line so I could fart.”—Valerie L.


20. “You have really good breath.” —Terri P.

21. “You smell like Las Vegas.” —Carrie N.

22. “I wish you were my mom.” —Ali H.

23. “I named my bunny after you.” —Brittany L.


Do you have other phrases or stories to share? Put them in the comments below!