Ah, the disgruntled “What they’re teaching kids nowadays” comment. Just what I wanted to hear standing in line at the grocery store. Or working the football concession stand. Or pulling up my social media feed (sigh).
Hearing people’s rants about the ways public school teachers are missing the mark gets really frustrating. But hearing it from loved ones just adds a special little something, doesn’t it? Take this Reddit teacher’s story as an example:
Tired of being lectured about “wHaT tHeY’rE tEaChInG kIdS NoWaDaYs”
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TLDR: A teacher asks for advice on handling disparaging comments from loved ones suggesting conspiracy theories about how teachers are actively harming and brainwashing students.
This post garnered a big discussion, so we gathered the best responses to this type of eye-roll-inducing comment. Some will clearly squash insulting commentary, while others can start a meaningful conversation. Choose your avatar!
“Can you show me the crazy curriculum? Do you have a copy of it?”
*crickets.* Trust me, I had NO ROOM in my 8th grade pre-algebra standards to squeeze in brainwashing.
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“Can you show me specifically where you found that in the standards?”
When I taught in the South, several parents were upset when they discovered our sixth grade and seventh grade social studies standards included discussing other religions. Their fearful assumptions about what we were teaching got conflated with the actual purpose of giving students a chance to understand and respect multiple worldviews and cultures. Had we asked, “Can you show me in the standards where we’re telling kids to reject Christianity?” we might have had a successful inquiry-based lesson.
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“Have you read the standards?”
This is a question I’ve actually used as a response before, and it does help squash the nonsense.
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“Either you accept you’re being lied to, or you think I’m lying to you. No one is doing that.”
This response … *chef’s kiss*!
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“Since you’re telling me children are being harmed, should I call CPS or do you not have anything to report?”
OK, this one is a little spicy, but maybe you have the gumption this Reddit teacher has!
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“Kids’ smartphones are teaching them the stuff you’re worried about, not me.”
International studies and world languages are not going to hold a flame to some of the apps kids are on these days. Just saying …
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“Can you show me in my SEL lesson plans where we are grooming kids?”
Prompting the whiner to work for their whine usually makes them quiet down!
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“Do you feel this empowered to critique your dentist?”
Having a child and/or having attended school yourself are not criteria for teaching expertise.
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“Kids are harder to persuade than you think!”
LOL, this one made me laugh!
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“Our material couldn’t be controversial if I tried.”
This one makes a lot of sense!
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“Would you like to come and visit my classroom and listen?”
Note: We don’t recommend following up on this offer to aggressive parents or community members who are intent on misinterpreting what’s happening in schools. Save it as a hypothetical question for friends and family to bring them back to earth and remind them that what’s happening in schools is actually just—wait for it—instruction.
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“If I could persuade kids, they wouldn’t have this many missing homework assignments.”
We could also persuade them to: listen to directions the first time, clean up after themselves, and in some cases, not throw a chair at the substitute 🙃
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“Do you want to know what’s actually going on in my school?”
We love this one. This is a good way to start a conversation about the real issues your school is facing! Talking about the black mold in the hallways, the students ripping down security cameras, the need to ration out paper like we’re in a war—these topics can help center a conversation back on the reality of what teachers are actually facing.
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“Would you like to sit down with my mapped-out daily curriculum and discuss it?”
This Reddit teacher had a lot of patience with her parents. 😳
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No one who became a teacher did so because they wanted the unconditional respect from society. But hearing from loved ones about ways we miss the mark—especially when it’s completely fabricated—feels like salt in the wound.
It’s nice to remember that their intentions are usually rooted in what they believe is protecting children, but it’s hard to feel that in the heat of the moment. I try to pause, take a deep breath, and then use the comment as an opportunity for a meaningful conversation.
But in some cases—especially when the “dialogue” gets down to name-calling or insults—you need a way to shut it down. These Reddit teachers provided some responses that squash conversations too! Hopefully you have ways to respond that feel right to you.
How do you respond when people suggest teachers are harming their kids? Tell us in the comments.
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