Teaching middle and high schoolers means building relationships and trust, while teaching them how to understand themselves. Lauren Haas, school counselor, @thecognitivecounselor on Instagram, sees a need for students to understand and practice talking about their feelings. “Many kids can tell us they feel ‘mad,’ ‘sad’ or ‘fine,’” Haas told We Are Teachers, “they need more support expanding their emotional vocabulary and noticing what those feelings are communicating.”
Conversation is one way that students can talk through and understand social-emotional skills. Haas suggests prioritizing safety over performance. “Kids are much more likely to participate in SEL conversations when they know they will not be forced to share, corrected for having a feeling, or put on the spot in front of peers,” Haas says. Then, as you engage students in conversation, respond with curiosity and a willingness to listen. The most helpful thing to say, says Haas, may be “That makes sense.” or “You don’t have to talk about it right now, but I’m here when you’re ready.”
Haas shared her favorite SEL questions, use them and 50 more to engage students in meaningful conversation. Want this entire set of questions below in one easy document? Grab our free Google Slides.
How to use SEL questions with middle and high schoolers:
- Pull one card up each week before class and have students reflect and share with you or with a small group to spark discussion.
- Share a card in your online classroom app along with a link to a Google form for student responses.
- Use cards one-on-one for a check-in of each student’s social and emotional learning skills bank.
- Pair students up to share their reflections on a card. Teach them how to empathize, appreciate diversity, and consider another perspective as they share.
Lauren Haas’s favorite SEL questions
Haas likes using open-ended questions with students. Questions that help them reflect without trying to give a right answer. Haas shared her favorite questions:
- What clues does your body give you when you are starting to feel overwhelmed?
- What helps you feel calm, safe, or ready to learn?
- What is the difference between having a feeling and acting on a feeling?
- What can we do when someone wants something different than we do?
- What does a good apology sound like and what might repair look like after an apology?
- How can you tell when a friend might need support?
- What makes it easier or harder to ask for help?
- What does being included feel like? What does being left out feel like?
- What could you say to yourself when something feels hard or when you make a mistake?
- What are respectful ways to set a boundary with a friend?
- Can two people experience this situation differently? Can two people have the same experience and have different feelings about it?
50 more SEL questions for middle and high schoolers
1. When your homework gets hard for you, what do you do?
2. What five words describe you best?
3. What is the most challenging part of school for you?
4. What is the most fun part of school for you?
5. Let’s pretend you’re famous. What do you think you’d be known for?
6. What is the best school assignment you’ve ever had?
7. Think about a teacher you really like. What is one thing they said or did that made a difference for you?
8. What is the place where you feel most yourself?
9. If you could travel back in time three years, what advice would you give yourself?
10. If you could make one rule that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be? Why?
11. If you had a superpower, what would it be?
12. Where is your favorite place to study?
13. What’s your secret to getting ready for a quiz or test?
14. If you get a disappointing grade, what do you do?
15. What does a typical weekday morning look like for you?
16. How do you wind down at the end of the day?
17. How well do you sleep?
18. What do you see yourself doing one month after high school? One year after high school?
19. What is one job that really interests you?
20. Is there an app you hate but still use anyway?
21. Do you think of yourself as cautious or as a risk-taker?
22. Share a time when you felt creative.
23. Tell me the story of your name. Where did it come from?
24. Share one person who has inspired you.
25. What motivates you?
26. What is one quality that bothers you about yourself?
27. What is one thing you like about yourself?
28. What’s your favorite quality to have in a friend?
29. What is one thing that scares you?
30. If you could trade places with anyone for a day, who would it be and why?
31. What is your biggest pet peeve?
32. Who’s your biggest fan?
33. When do you feel most comfortable raising your hand?
34. If you didn’t finish your homework, what’s most likely the reason?
35. What’s your favorite thing to do with your family?
36. Talk about a funny or scary adventure you had with a friend.
37. Which do you like better: having specific plans or going with the flow?
38. What is one issue that’s really important to you?
39. What’s the last great video you watched?
40. If you could live anywhere, where would it be?
41. What is one thing you know how to do that you could teach to others?
42. What five things would you take to a deserted island?
43. At what age should a person be considered an adult?
44. What is something about yourself you could totally brag about but usually don’t?
45. You can either leave your hometown forever or never leave your hometown. Which do you choose?
46. What is an unwritten rule about school that everyone knows?
