From time to time weâll be posting questions from principals and sharing advice for real experts in school leadership. If you have a question youâd like to see answered, please add it to the comments! Todayâs question is about principal-parent communication.Â
Q.
Communicating with parents whose child has had an issue at school always leaves me feeling like Iâm either with my teachers or against them. How can I communicate with parents in a way that doesnât stab my teachers in the back?
A.
How a principal handles complaints is crucial to his/her reputation with both parents and teachers. Teachers want to know that you support your staff. Parents want to know that you can be counted on to deal with issues involving their kids. Itâs not always easy, or even possible, to please both sides. But you can handle a problem so that both respect your decision. Hereâs a simple example:
Stacyâs mother calls you to complain that Stacyâs teacher, Ms. B, accused her daughter of cheating on a test. Ms. B picked up Stacyâs paper and gave her a zero. Stacyâs mom says her daughter was just asking a friend for a tissue, and Ms. B embarrassed her daughter in front of the whole class. She wants her child to have a second chance at the test. What do you do?
- Start at the lowest level. Just listen to the parent and offer no opinion about who is at fault or how the issue should be resolved. Encourage the parent to talk directly to the teacher before you get involved. If the parent really doesnât want to do that, tell her you will talk to Ms. B and one of you will get back to her.
- Talk to the teacher. Visit her in her classroom during a free period or after school (but donât call her down to the office). Say, âTell me about Stacy and her test, â not, âDid you take Stacyâs test paper away from her?â And by the way, never say to a teacher, âI want to hear your side of the storyâ because it sounds like youâre the grown-up mediating a playground dispute between two kids.
- Listen. Maybe Ms. B warned the student several times before she took her test. Maybe itâs the third time sheâs been caught cheating. Maybe she told Stacy she could take the test after school. But maybe ⊠ the parentâs account is correct.
- Decide. Weigh the facts, use your best judgment, and let the teacher and the mom know your decision in a timely manner. If this is not the first time Stacy has had a problem with cheating, perhaps a conference with the teacher is in order. If this has never happened before, give the teacher credit for allowing Stacy to retest. In any event, focus on the next steps, not on the problem.
Often parent complaints are more complex than this one, but the process is essentially the same. Itâs important to be noncommittal when parents complain about a teacherâs actions until youâve talked to the teacher. Listening carefully to your staff doesnât mean they will necessarily agree with your final decision, but it does mean that they wonât feel they were thrown under the bus without any chance to defend themselves.
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