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How To Talk to Kids About the Iran-Israel Conflict

We spoke with an expert at Columbia University about how to be more confident and grounded in your conversations.

Photo of parents talking to child about the Iran-Israel conflict
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By We Are Teachers Staff
Jun 25, 2025

With everything already going on in the world, it can feel overwhelming to talk to kids about serious topics—especially something as complicated as the Iran-Israel conflict the United States entered into over the weekend. But the truth is, many kids are already hearing about it. Whether it’s from friends, influencers, or clips on YouTube or TikTok, kids are often exposed to information and misinformation before we get a chance to explain it ourselves.

To help guide these tough conversations, we spoke with Dr. Beth C. Rubin, a professor in the Teaching of Social Studies program at Teachers College, Columbia University. Dr. Rubin studies how young people learn to think critically about complex issues and see themselves as citizens in a diverse, often divided world. Her expert insights can help us talk with kids in ways that are thoughtful, age-appropriate, and grounded in empathy.

As educators and caregivers, we’re not going to have all the answers. But we can help kids make sense of what they’re seeing—and teach them how to think critically about what they hear online.

Start by listening

Before you jump into an explanation, take a moment to check in. Find out what kids already know and how they feel about it. 

“Have you heard anything about what’s happening in Iran?”
“Did you see something online or hear something at school?”

These questions give you a sense of what they already know—and what they might be confused or worried about. It also shows them it’s OK to ask questions and talk about difficult things.

Dr. Rubin encourages adults to lead with empathy and curiosity. “Center curiosity over certainty,” she says. “Invite questions rather than rushing to answer them. Don’t be afraid to say, ‘I don’t know,’ and learn alongside your students or children.”

Rubin also stresses the importance of being sensitive to students with personal ties to the region or conflict. “Some young people have direct or familial connections to what’s happening, and they may carry emotional or psychological burdens,” she explains. “This is where teachers’ skills really come into play, because it’s kind of a blend of reassurance, of providing reliable information, of acknowledging perspective of critical analysis, but also of humanity and sensitivity to emotion.”

Help kids evaluate what they’re seeing online

Social media is rife with content that looks real but isn’t. Sometimes videos are old and unrelated. Other times, they’re intentionally misleading or emotionally charged to get clicks. You can help kids spot red flags and slow down before believing or sharing something.

Some easy tips to share:

  • Ask where it came from. Is it from a reliable news organization or just someone’s opinion?
  • Check if other trusted sources are saying the same thing.
  • Watch out for dramatic headlines like “You won’t believe this!” or “The truth they don’t want you to know.”

You can say:

“Some people post things just to get attention, even if it’s not true. Let’s look it up together and figure out what’s real.”

Rubin recommends teaching students strategies like lateral reading—looking at how multiple sources cover the same story—and vertical reading, which involves digging into the background and credibility of a specific source. “It’s important to help kids understand if a source is reputable, whether it has a particular perspective, or if it might even be fake,” she says.

She also warns that many students are encountering highly polarized perspectives online. “Rather than seeing multiple sides, kids may be exposed only to extreme viewpoints,” she explains. “That’s something educators and parents need to be aware of when opening up conversations.”

For more on helping kids separate fact from fiction, check out these news literacy posters and free media literacy lessons for grades 9-12.

Look to trusted sources for guidance  

When you’re not sure how to guide the conversation—or just want some backup—it helps to turn to organizations that specialize in children’s mental health and development. These groups offer research-based guidance on how to talk to kids about trauma, war, and global conflict in age-appropriate ways:

When in doubt, you don’t have to figure it out alone. Leaning on these expert-backed resources can help you feel more confident and grounded in your conversations.

Keep mental health the top priority

Be mindful of (and consider limiting) children’s exposure to news and social media about the conflict. You can also help them find ways to feel empowered—like drawing, writing a letter, or learning more about human rights and how people can make a difference. Reiterate the importance of resilience, courage, and checking in with ourselves.

“We can care about what’s happening and still take care of ourselves.”
“It’s OK to step away from the news and do something that makes you feel safe.”

Rubin also emphasizes the importance of validating kids’ emotional responses. “Pretending these topics don’t raise feelings in kids isn’t really useful,” she says. “We can acknowledge confusion, fear, anger, and sadness—and still have a factual, analytical conversation.”

She encourages adults to highlight stories of hope and humanity. “Make sure to pay attention to the peacemakers and helpers—not just the horrors of conflict,” Rubin says. “There are always people using their talents and courage to make situations better. That can be inspiring and hopeful for kids.”

Here are more resources for supporting kids’ and teens’ mental health: 

Remember: It’s OK to not have all the answers

It’s perfectly fine to say, “This is complicated, and I’m still learning about it too.” That honesty models curiosity and humility—and encourages kids to keep asking questions.

You don’t have to be an expert. You just have to be willing to learn and explore with them.

Rubin believes these moments can be some of the most meaningful for learning—not just about global events, but about each other. “These situations involve intellectual, interpersonal, and emotional challenges,” she says. “But they’re also powerful opportunities to build empathy, foster critical thinking, and model the kind of democratic listening we’d like to see more of in society.”

Talking to kids about conflicts like the one in Iran isn’t easy—but it’s important. Hard times are often the best teachers, and these conversations will help kids build empathy, media literacy, and a sense of global citizenship.

Remember, you don’t need to have all the right words. Showing up, modeling empathy, and keeping the door open for more conversation down the road is the best place to start.