4 Funny Holiday Songs for Teachers

As you stand around the piano to sing, lift your glasses of eggnog and…oh, wait. I meant as you huddle in the teachers’ lounge for warmth because the heat is out again, frantically trying to get projects graded so you can figure out which sixteen kids didn’t turn one in, may these songs lift your spirits with the true meaning of holidays; two whole weeks away from school.

To the Tune of “Chestnuts Roasting”

Poptart warming in the microwave;

Forgot my sandwich once again.

Kids at lunchtime don’t know how to behave.

“Please don’t stab your neighbor with a pen!”

 

Everybody gets 6,000 ugly coffee mugs

Perhaps you’ll get a gift card, too.

Just don’t breathe too deeply during goodbye hugs

Or your Christmas gift will be the flu.

 

We know that break is on its way,

If I can just survive these kids for one more day.

And when the last bell rings at four o’clock

We’ll all get drinks (I’ll have mine on the rocks!)

 

And so I’m offering this simple phrase

To teachers, staff, and students too:

I’ll be asleep for the next fourteen days,

But Merry Christmas to you!

To the Tune of “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”

Oh you better watch out

You better still try!

No movies today

I’m telling you why

Principal’s observing right now.

She sees that Johnny’s sleeping

And Sandra’s eating cake

And you have got your iPhone out

Put it up for goodness sake!

Oh, you better watch out

You better still try

No movies today

I’m telling you why.

Principal’s observing right now!

To the Tune of “Silent Night”

Noisy kids

Rowdy kids

Teacher might

Flip her lid

Most days I love you so

But now I want you to go

Bus can’t get here too soon

Buses can’t get here too soon.

To the Tune of “I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas”

I’m starting on your last essays

The ones I’m grading over break

Where there is no thesis

The concept’s specious

It seems you forgot your grade’s at stake…

 

I’m working on your last essays

And as I grade them I’d advise

Unwrap all your presents

Hide away their contents

Before I tell your mom you plagiarized.

 

I’m finishing your last essays

With every helpful hint I write

Next time please remember to cite

And may all your comma faults be slight.