25 Funny Fifth Grade Jokes to Start The Day

How does a vampire start a letter?

The final year of elementary school is an emotional one. While students may be enjoying the last of those younger years, they may also be anxious and nervous about what lies ahead. Are they ready for middle school? Will they make new friends? Those types of questions may be lingering in the back of their minds as they go through the day. Why not lighten things up with something from this list of 25 fifth grade jokes to bring a little humor to the classroom?  

1. How does a vampire start a letter?

Tomb it may concern …

2. What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?

R2 detour.

3. How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?

You rocket!

4. What did the limestone say to the geologist?

Don’t take me for granite!

5. What do you think of that new diner on the moon?

Food was good, but there really wasn’t much atmosphere.

6. Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

Because the chicken wasn’t born yet.

7. What kind of award did the dentist receive?

A little plaque.

8. What dinosaur had the best vocabulary? 

The thesaurus.

9. How do pickles enjoy a day out?

They relish it.

10. What part of the fish weighs the most? 

The scales. 

11. Why didn’t the koala bear get the job?

They said she was over-koala-fied.

12. Who was that owl who did all the tricks?

Who-dini.

13. What do you call bears with no ears?

B!

14. Where do rocks like to sleep?

Bedrock!

15. What did the reporter say to the ice cream?

“What’s the scoop?”

16. How do you pay for parking in space?

A parking meteor. 

17. How do you stop a bull from charging? 

You unplug it! 

18. What is a zombie’s favorite thing to eat?

 Brain food. 

19. Why is the math book so unhappy?

Because it’s full of problems!

20. Which spelling word is always spelled incorrectly?

Incorrectly!

21. Do you want to hear a construction joke?

Sorry, I’m still working on it!

22. What has two legs but can’t walk?

A pair of pants.

23. What did the alien say to the book?

Take me to your reader.

24. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up?

Because it was two-tired.

25. Which school supply is king of the classroom?

A ruler.

What are your favorite fifth grade jokes? Please share in the comments! 

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Looking for more ways to get ready for the school year? Check out Your Guide to Teaching 5th Grade Online!

Posted by Jeanne Croteau

Jeanne is a mother of six (including toddler twins!), writer, homeschooler, and social sciences professor. She loves cooking, reading, and dancing in her kitchen.

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