Haunted houses, horror flicks, paranormal reality TV—there’s some pretty creepy stuff out there. But NOTHING compares to a good classroom mystery. Recently, we asked our Facebook community about their most memorable six-word classroom mysteries. Our conclusion, in six words: Some questions are better left unanswered. But here are some of our favorites.
1. “What are you playing with?”
A bloody baby tooth, a huge booger, a tiny tree frog—the answer is always different and usually scary.
2. “Why are your eyelids inside out?”
And where can I go puke after seeing that?
3. “Why’d you take your clothes off?”
Closely related to the mystery entitled “whose underwear is on the floor?” Kindergarten teachers, we salute you.
4. “Who pooped in the bathroom sink?”
And for the love of God, WHY?
5. “What is in your book bag?”
Based on our Facebook group’s experience, it could be a kitten. It could also be a dead squirrel. Or a frog. Maybe a lizard. Isn’t this exciting?
6. “Why wasn’t this meeting an email?”
We feel your pain.
7. “Where did all the pencils go?”
Apparently, this mystery haunts every classroom ever. But seriously. Do they just … evaporate?
8. “What time do we have recess?”
In the words of Jonathan N., “it’s amazing that this can still be a mystery on day 170/180.”
9. “How did your Google file disappear?”
It’s the distance learning enigma that just never gets solved.
10. “What is growing in your desk?”
And do we really want to know?
11. “Where did this dead bat come from?”
This one would have given us the creeps for a good long while.
12. “Who took my Chromebook charger?”
Hey people, keep your hands off our stuff. We don’t have time for this kind of sleuthing.
13. “Where did the glue-stick caps go?”
This one was mentioned so often, we’re convinced there’s an evil spirit stealing them from classrooms nationwide.
14. “Where did I put my coffee?”
Okay, this one is on us. But we can’t be expected to keep track of EVERYTHING!
15. “Where did I put my pen?”
Ditto. The struggle is real.
16. “Why is my chair so wet?”
Unfortunately for Alexandrea J., the worst possible answer was the accurate one.
17. “Whose boots and gloves are these?”
Just as mysterious is the way elementary kids deny ownership of ANYTHING.
18. “Why is this homework so sticky?”
Unidentified stickiness. It’s the stuff of nightmares.
19. “Why is it always you three?”
Sometimes you know who’s going to be in trouble before they’re even in trouble.
20. “Whose no-name paper is this?”
And is it really impossible to remember to write your name? Yes. Obviously the answer is yes.
21. “Monday 24 scissors, Tuesday none … how?”
Alex F., that’s a great question. Now it’s going to haunt us, too.
22. “What happened to the class gerbil?”
And the hamster. And the tarantula. So. Many. Missing. Creatures.
23. “Why were you gone so long?”
Did you take a quick trip to Aruba? Solve world hunger? Write a novel? We must know!
24. “Who keeps leaving their babies everywhere?”
Lots of us found these little guys in our drinks, fish tanks, desks … Landa J. even found one in her bottle of hand sanitizer.
25. “Who drew that on the whiteboard?”
We don’t know what grade you teach, Katherine A., but if it’s middle school, we can guess what they drew.
26. “Is our AC not working today?”
And why does this always happen the hottest day of the week?
27. “Why are you licking your desk?”
See also “the wall,” “the floor,” “your friend,” etc. Just so much licking. WHY?!?!
28. “Will we have school in September?”
Hey, we know the answer to this one! But … the details are still a little mysterious.
What are your six-word classroom mysteries? Share them with us in our Facebook group, WeAreTeachers HELPLINE!
Plus, take a look at these 42 little things that drive teachers crazy.