This week, Ask WeAreTeachers takes on social distance rule-breaking, suspiciously long bathroom breaks, and more.
The teacher next door doesnât make the kids social distance, and theyâre all over each other.
Iâm one of two first grade teachers at my school, and we just went back to in-person instruction. The other teacher is so excited. Donât get me wrongâIâm excited to see my kids. But Iâm really nervous. Iâm not even vaccinated yet. Iâm taking our schoolâs new social distancing protocols seriously, but my teammate? Not so much. She has the kids doing group activities, and Iâve seen her students huddled together over iPads. When their masks are down, she doesnât correct them. I guess she just doesnât think itâs a big deal. If I say something, I know sheâll get defensive and tell me Iâm overreacting. But itâs not safe! And itâs hard for my students to be stuck in their seats and see that other kids are doing things theyâre not allowed to. What can I do?âFollowing the Rules in First
Dear F.T.R.I.F.,
Oh wow. What your teammate is doing is not OK, but in these situations, I think itâs best to give folks the opportunity to fix something first (just like youâd want a parent to call you with a concern before going to the principal). And, schools being schools, it will get back to her that you were the one that reported her, and youâre risking that relationship.
Time for a team talk. Calmly and confidently present your concerns to your colleague. You may want to reference the CDC guidelines for operating schools during COVID-19. A personal appeal might also work. You understandably want to keep yourself and your students healthy. And she should understand how different standards applied across a grade level are problematic (whether they are academic or behavioral).
All that being said, this is about the safety and well-being of your school community. If she dismisses your concerns out of hand, you are well within your rights to escalate this to administration. Just be ready for the fallout.
Is a 20-minute bathroom break normal? I donât think so, but Iâm embarrassed to bring it up.
I have a high school sophomore taking excessively long bathroom breaks. Itâs been at the same time every day, so Iâm a little suspicious. Iâve heard of kids using bathroom breaks for vaping or meeting up with boyfriends/girlfriends, but my gut says theyâre in there on their cell phone. Still, if thereâs a health issue, then I donât want to call them out. I mean, my mom has Crohnâs, so I guess thatâs possible? But if theyâre just dinking around or doing something thatâs against the rules, then I want to know. Obviously, I canât follow them. And asking campus security or administration to check it out feels a bit intrusive. Whatâs a tactful way to handle this? âStrictly Business in the Bathroom
Dear S.B.I.T.B.,
Thatâs a tough one because as much as I think you should trust your spidey senses, I think itâs more important to respect students and their bodies. I would caution you against putting any limitations on when and how often any student can go or attaching consequences to breaks. Maybe theyâre just having their daily constitutional (in which case, Iâm jealous of their regularity). What concerns me most is that something else might be going on.
You may be able to find out some information (like if thereâs a medical reason) by checking the studentâs records or speaking with the nurse. A call to the parents to ask if thereâs anything you should know may be helpful. And consider that some kids use bathroom breaks to avoid bullies, to have a quiet space, and/or to cope with anxiety or depression. If you have a good relationship with the student, try a private chat (less âbusted!â and more âIâm worried about youâ).
Still convinced theyâre in there making TikTok videos? If youâve ruled everything else out and theyâre still spending a lot of time away from class (and learning!), then you might try taking teacher Paul P.âs advice, âWhen I was teaching freshmen and was having a problem with a steady stream of students leaving, often for very long periods of time, I started making them trade their phone for a bathroom pass. Problem solved instantly.â
Iâm getting non-renewed. How do I finish out the year gracefully when I feel like crying most days?
Iâm a first year fourth grade teacher, and my principal just told me I am not coming back next year. I have a tough class, and I have a had hard time keeping them under control. She put me on an improvement plan, and Iâve been working really hard to improve my classroom management. But clearly not enough. I canât say I didnât see this coming, but Iâm still super upset and disappointed. Iâm going to start looking for a new position, but donât know how this will look on my record. I know Iâm going to need my current principalâs recommendation, but Iâm angry with her right now. I need some advice on how to get through the rest of this year. âNon-Renewed in North Carolina
Dear N.R.I.N.C.,
Iâm so sorry to hear this. If our Helpline group is any indication, non-renewal happens. A lot. My best advice is to hold your head up high. It takes most of us many years to become proficient at classroom management. Itâs a shame your school isnât giving you time to develop, especially as a first year teacher. I promise this isnât the end of the world. If your heart is in teaching, please donât give up.
As you finish out these next few months, be careful not to burn any bridges. As you said, youâll need the reference. Put aside your anger and ask your principal for a letter of recommendation now. Youâll want that in hand as you start to look at other options, and you do need to do that. You may be able to resign, and youâll want to look at the pros and cons of that. If being able to say you left on your own appeals to you, you can have the effective date be the end of the school year.
Some people will tell you to phone it in, but I donât recommend that. Itâs never a mistake to do your best. Teacher Joanie B. says, âFrankly, you do it for you. You do it because integrity, honesty, professionalism, and class is who you choose to be. Life is going to throw you challenges you canât control, but you have some choice over how you respond to those challenges, personally or professionally. You donât look at this moment; you look at the next and the way you want to walk into your future.â
I shared thoughts on a school survey that were supposed to be anonymous, and now my principal wants to talk.
A week ago, my principal sent out a survey on school culture. Everyone on staff filled it out, and our responses were supposedly anonymous. When I was asked about leadership, I commented that â he avoids making decisions until the last minute and then makes them out of urgency and that it feels like he only listens so he can tell me why Iâm wrong, not with an open mind. Well, apparently that feedback wasnât anonymous because weâre meeting to discuss it. Iâm guessing itâs that last bit that he wants to talk about. Should I pretend it wasnât me?âNot So Anonymous
Dear N.S.A.,
Yeesh. That is wildly unprofessional of your principal. While I wouldnât play dumb (âComments? What comments?â), I do think you have a few solid options here that donât put you in a position of having to lie:
Option 1. Own the comments. Teacher Meghann R. advises, âStand by what you said in the feedback. Itâs sad that youâre being called out when it was supposedly anonymous, but Iâd still stand by what I said. Donât backpedal. He asked for feedback, you gave it. Keep your head high and feet firm.â Maybe this is an opportunity for your principal to grow professionally and to improve your working environment.
Option 2. Bring up the bait and switch. Teacher Angela B. says, âI would meet just to discuss the anonymity of the process! Take control of that meeting and demand answers as to why they are talking to you if itâs so anonymous.â
Whatever you choose, document everything. And when in doubt, ask your union rep to attend the meeting.
Do you have a burning question? Email us at askweareteachers@weareteachers.com
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