As you stand around the piano to sing, lift your glasses of eggnog andā¦oh, wait. I meant as you huddle in the teachersā lounge for warmth because the heat is out again, frantically trying to get projects graded so you can figure out which sixteen kids didnāt turn one in, may these songs lift your spirits with the true meaning of holidays; two whole weeks away from school.
To the Tune of āChestnuts Roastingā
Poptart warming in the microwave;
Forgot my sandwich once again.
Kids at lunchtime donāt know how to behave.
āPlease donāt stab your neighbor with a pen!ā
Ā
Everybody gets 6,000 ugly coffee mugs
Perhaps youāll get a gift card, too.
Just donāt breathe too deeply during goodbye hugs
Or your Christmas gift will be the flu.
Ā
We know that break is on its way,
If I can just survive these kids for one more day.
And when the last bell rings at four oāclock
Weāll all get drinks (Iāll have mine on the rocks!)
Ā
And so Iām offering this simple phrase
To teachers, staff, and students too:
Iāll be asleep for the next fourteen days,
But Merry Christmas to you!
To the Tune of āSanta Claus is Coming to Townā
Oh you better watch out
You better still try!
No movies today
Iām telling you why
Principalās observing right now.
She sees that Johnnyās sleeping
And Sandraās eating cake
And you have got your iPhone out
Put it up for goodness sake!
Oh, you better watch out
You better still try
No movies today
Iām telling you why.
Principalās observing right now!
To the Tune of āSilent Nightā
Noisy kids
Rowdy kids
Teacher might
Flip her lid
Most days I love you so
But now I want you to go
Bus canāt get here too soon
Buses canāt get here too soon.
To the Tune of āIām Dreaming of a White Christmasā
Iām starting on your last essays
The ones Iām grading over break
Where there is no thesis
The conceptās specious
It seems you forgot your gradeās at stakeā¦
Ā
Iām working on your last essays
And as I grade them Iād advise
Unwrap all your presents
Hide away their contents
Before I tell your mom you plagiarized.
Ā
Iām finishing your last essays
With every helpful hint I write
Next time please remember to cite
And may all your comma faults be slight.