When youâre on the receiving end of a phone call or email about your childâs misbehavior or a less-than-stellar conference or report card, itâs easy to see the person on the other side as the enemy. As a classroom teacher for over a decade, I can tell you that weâre not. Thatâs not to say there arenât exceptions to the rule (on both sides), but in general, parents and teachers are on the same team.
Weâre both experts in our fields.
You as the parent are your childâs first teacher and their most important person. No one knows your kid better than you, so youâre in an excellent position to provide their teacher(s) with information they very much need to set them up for success. When we ask you to fill out a student profile and tell us about your kidâs strengths and weaknesses, their educational history, and the five words that best describe them, we really want to know. We use that background to accommodate the studentâs unique learning needs. And youâre the absolutely best person for this.
That being said, we are also experts. Weâve all gone to university to study pedagogy and best teaching practices, completed practicums and student teaching, and met the requirements of our state to be certified to teach. Many of us have advanced degrees and years of on-the-ground experiences that inform our instructional approach. And as we work with and get to know your child, weâre going to have insights about them as well. Some of them arenât easy to tell you about, but the goal is always to get your child the help they need.
Sometimes team members disagree, and thatâs OK.
Sitting across from each other at a kidney table (sorry about some of you having to sit in tiny chairs) can feel adversarial, especially when the two sides donât agree on whatâs best for the child. But disagreeing doesnât mean that one side cares about the student and the other doesnât. We just differ on how best to get them to where they need to be. As a team, we all have to be willing to compromise in the interests of the student. So you might have to be open to trying something out, seeing how it goes, and reassessing. And maybe we as teachers need to be willing to consider new and alternative approaches that parents bring to the literal table. At the end of the day, does it really matter who was right if it works out for the student? (OK, you got me, I do like to be right, but a win for the student is a win for everyone.)
We all want the same outcome: student success.
Your childâs teacher is rooting for them. Weâre all in this because we want to see students become effective readers, writers, and communicators; confident mathematicians and scientists; stewards of history and active citizens; and most important, good and kind people. We donât want them to fail. And when they do, we reflect, analyze, and adjust our instruction. I think youâll find that most teachers will bend over backwards to get students to the finish line. And we shouldnât have to. Because I canât imagine that our goals are all that different from yours as parents. You want independent, respectful, critical thinkers that you can launch into the adult world just as much as we do.
Everyone has a job to do.
Just like in sports, each team member has their role. As teachers, we deliver instruction, provide guidance, and make accommodations for the students in our care. And we have a responsibility to communicate their progress to you. Parent support can look different based on your individual family. You can create a literacy-rich home environment, eat dinner together as a family, limit screen time, provide space and support for homework completion, and respectfully advocate for your child in school. Kids have to put forth the effort too. But guess which kids are doing that? Itâs the ones whose teachers and parents are working together, through challenges and difficulties, but always on the same side.