One thing I love about schools: They regularly set up opportunities for students to practice generosity and community partnering.
Back-to-school shops with gently used uniforms.
Holiday toy drives.
Coat drives in the winter.
Serving a Thanksgiving dinner to people in need.
Prom âboutiquesâ with donated dresses.
All of these take significant time, effort, and resources to organize, and the school communities that pull these off are angels in my book.
Thereâs just one problem. This problem doesnât happen every time or at every school, to be sure. But when it does, I see red.
Every so often, I catch schools or clubs posting photos on social media of the students and families benefiting from these services.
Why itâs a problem
Look, as I explained, itâs not the drives themselves and the spirit of generosity fueling them. I have no doubt the donations and the organizing all come from a good place.
But the times Iâve commented on social media asking schools or individuals to reconsider posting photos of students receiving donations, Iâm often met with defense.
We got their permission.
We blurred their faces or You canât see their faces.
Always someone who has a problem with a good deed.
Hi, yes. Itâs me. I have the problem.
Hereâs why.
Itâs exploitative.
For many students and families, thereâs an understandable degree of embarrassment in picking out secondhand clothes or for someone else paying for your kidsâ holiday gifts. Spreading these pictures online is putting students in the vulnerable position of being recognized by their peers, even if measures are taken for anonymity. Think about it: If your family, workplace, neighborhood, or other group who knows you were shown a picture of you with your face blurred, youâd have scores of people knowing exactly who is in that picture.
Ask yourself why you feel you need to include pictures of students or families receiving donations. For likes? Because you wonât evoke as much emotion without them? To increase participation in next yearâs coat drive? All of those reasons are exploitative. You can spread awareness and share the success of an initiative without the cost of an individualâs dignity.
Think about the purpose of the drive. Is it to benefit people who need a little extra help? Or to be able to talk about your good deed in the way you want?
It probably violates your schoolâs social media guidelines.
Most districts have language around what types of photos can be shared of their students, even if theyâve opted in to picture sharing on their technology agreement. And if a picture is used without their consent? That easily exposes the district to liability and lawsuits.
Also, I want you to picture this. Youâre in middle school, and you need a new coatâyours is frayed, worn thin, and busting at the seamsâbut your mom has said she wonât be able to buy one for a few months. You go to the schoolâs coat drive, and youâre already feeling so awkward and anxious about picking out a secondhand coat. A parent volunteer approaches you and says, âSmile!â as they snap a picture of you browsing the coat pile. âWe can put this on social media, right?â they ask. I donât know about you, but I would definitely feel pressured to say yes because I was getting something for free.
OK. Youâve decided to no longer share pictures of students or their families receiving donations. But you still want to share your groupâs work and inspire people to come help. So, what now?
Better ideas for photos
Close-ups
Look for opportunities with lots of different colors or textures. A shot looking down a clothing rack of fluffy tulle and shiny pastel satin in the prom dress drive would be gorgeous and attention-grabbing. Or for a Thanksgiving food drive, how about a mountain of chopped sweet potatoes during prepping? Get creative!
Photos of the volunteers
Ideally take photos of volunteers during setup or tear-down so youâre not having to interfere in what I think is a sacred act of communal sharing.
Creative and fun arrangements
Snap a picture of toys cleverly arranged in a twinkling Christmas tree, or do a stop-motion video to look like coats and clothes are dancing on their own. (If you donât know how to do this, thereâs a teenager in your life who does, I promise you.)
Before and after
Get a picture showing the collective donations all togetherâwhether itâs food, clothes, gifts, or other items. Then, show whatâs left afterward to demonstrate how many items went to people who need them.
Finally, I think itâs noteworthy that the sources we look to for wisdomâfrom all major faiths to some of our wisest thinkers in historyâgenerally discourage looking for outward validation for our good deeds. This quote from Marcus Aurelius, one of the more respected Roman emperors, sums it up pretty perfectly, I think:
âWhen you have done a good deed that another has had the benefit of, why do you need a third rewardâas fools doâpraise for having done well or looking for a favor in return?â
âMarcus Aurelius