Anyone who has been a teacher for more than five minutes knows that between limited funding, salaries, and time, we often have to get creative with our supplies. The scary truth about school supplies is that they often take on very different roles than intended.
Here’s what I mean.
These are hair clips.
You will forget they’re in your hair and run approximately 19 errands in public places after school.
Binder clips on Amazon
These are hair holders.
And weirdly you have none of them anymore. No one has any of them. And if you do find one, it’ll rip half your hair out.
Rubber bands on Amazon
This is what you use for a Band-Aid now.
At least until you can locate a real Band-Aid, which you can’t, because they disappear in minutes. Bonus: This is also your maraca! (If you know, you know.)
Tape dispenser on Amazon
These are precious gemstones.
Had to take out a second mortgage, but it was worth it. They’ve replaced Flairs for me. I said what I said.
Le Pen set on Amazon
These depreciate the second they leave the lot.
Three years from now it’ll hold exactly seven markers (three of which have caps) as well as assorted pieces of trash and a dead roach.
Bulk marker set on Amazon
This is your healthcare.
Step 1: Pump. Step 2: Cross your fingers.
Hand sanitizer on Amazon
This is your self-care.
Giant paper clips on Amazon
These are your tissues.
You will also want to invest in healing nose salve.
Paper towels on Amazon
This is your entertainment.
Labeling children’s foreheads = peak entertainment.
Label maker on Amazon
This is also your entertainment.
It only works if you do the sound effect with it. SHWOING.
Paper cutter on Amazon
This is your dirty little secret.
“Sorry, Lucy, Elmer’s glue is all I have. What’s the stuff in the brown bottle you saw me using for a project once? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Rubber cement on Amazon
This is your maintenance crew.
Air duct fell off your ceiling? Don’t worry.
Duct tape on Amazon
These are your personal assistants.
Cheaper than an actual personal assistant, but chances are you paid for them yourself, so …
Post-it Notes on Amazon
This is the enemy.
At least in the hands of a kindergartner. And in the hands of a teenager for that matter. And in the hands of a well-meaning substitute who thinks this is a dry-erase marker.
King-size Sharpie on Amazon
This is forgiveness.
I just realized that I pretty much never let students have forgiveness.
Wite-Out on Amazon
This is your sports car.
Don’t go too wild, now.
Rolling cart on Amazon
This is your hot but bonkers friend you still keep at arm’s length.
You’re a little nervous to introduce her to just anyone, but she sure makes a great Instagram post.
Swingline stapler on Amazon
This is your weird ride-or-die pal.
OK, so she has a chipped ear and is a little quirky, but you love her more than anything. Also, anyone who messes with her is in for a reckoning.
Otter tape dispenser on Amazon
What are your favorite alternate-use school supplies? Let us know in the comments!
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