We know the warning signs to look for on dates. We know the alarm bells to listen for during an interview. Teachers, of course, have their own identity system of red flags when it comes to parents and families. These red flags are code for “proceed with caution.” Continue to be kind, professional, and warm. But keep emails short. Document extensively. Loop in an administrator if things get hairy.
Does a red flag mean you’ll never be able to connect with that family? Of course not. It just means it may take some serious emotional and communication muscle to build trust. (But in the meantime, like we said: Proceed with caution.)
Reddit teachers weighed in with phrases or behaviors that triggered an instant “uh-oh” reaction to parents’ comments. Here are their biggest red flags:
“They’re your problem during school hours.”
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by u/PicasPointsandPixels from discussion What’s your biggest red flag from a parent you’ve ever had?
in Teachers
“My child would never say/do that.”
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by u/knightfenris from discussion What’s your biggest red flag from a parent you’ve ever had?
in Teachers
“My child does not lie to me.”
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by u/joesperrazza from discussion What’s your biggest red flag from a parent you’ve ever had?
in Teachers
“My kid is misbehaving because they’re bored.”
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by u/Responsible_Slip6129 from discussion What’s your biggest red flag from a parent you’ve ever had?
in Teachers
“We don’t use that language at home.”
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by u/East-Story-2305 from discussion What’s your biggest red flag from a parent you’ve ever had?
in Teachers
The student is pulled out for a lot of vacations and/or family events.
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by u/zaqwsx82211 from discussion What’s your biggest red flag from a parent you’ve ever had?
in Teachers
“I tried searching for you but I couldn’t find you on any social media.”
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by u/lnitiative from discussion What’s your biggest red flag from a parent you’ve ever had?
in Teachers
“He doesn’t have time to do the work for your class. Basketball keeps him so busy!”
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by u/BrickOnly2010 from discussion What’s your biggest red flag from a parent you’ve ever had?
in Teachers
“You know how it is … he’s just a boy. Boys will be boys!”
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by u/bubblyblueberry from discussion What’s your biggest red flag from a parent you’ve ever had?
in Teachers
“Your class is just journalism; it doesn’t even matter.”
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by u/thelonegunman88 from discussion What’s your biggest red flag from a parent you’ve ever had?
in Teachers
“Yup. Sounds like him.”
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by u/Forward_Performer_25 from discussion What’s your biggest red flag from a parent you’ve ever had?
in Teachers
Signing emails as “CEO” of his own business. Then meeting with me, he starts every sentence with “As a CEO …”
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by u/Sure-Swim7459 from discussion What’s your biggest red flag from a parent you’ve ever had?
in Teachers
“We aren’t really a reading house.”
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by u/No_Climate_3350 from discussion What’s your biggest red flag from a parent you’ve ever had?
in Teachers
A 3rd grader kicked me in the shin and his mom’s first reaction was to ask what I did to provoke the behavior.
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by u/Ms_Frazzle from discussion What’s your biggest red flag from a parent you’ve ever had?
in Teachers
When the father of the kid silenced the mother during conferences.
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by u/amachan43 from discussion What’s your biggest red flag from a parent you’ve ever had?
in Teachers
If they ever refer to themselves as “mama bear.”
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by u/forgetfuljones79 from discussion What’s your biggest red flag from a parent you’ve ever had?
in Teachers
“We don’t do consequences at home.”
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by u/Top-Consideration-16 from discussion What’s your biggest red flag from a parent you’ve ever had?
in Teachers
Here’s one that I’ve heard is a red flag for teachers but didn’t make the list:
“I’m a teacher too/used to be a teacher, so …”
Unless that sentence ends with “So here is a thank-you card with a cash gift” or “So let us know if you need anything!” teacher-parents need to proceed with caution too 😉
What’s the biggest red flag for you as a teacher? Let us know in the comments.
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