Teaching middle and high schoolers means building relationships and trust, while teaching them how to understand themselves. School counselor Lauren Haas, sees a need for students to understand and practice talking about their feelings through SEL questions and conversations. “Many kids can tell us they feel ‘mad,’ ‘sad’ or ‘fine,’” says Haas. “They need more support expanding their emotional vocabulary and noticing what those feelings are communicating.”
Conversation is one way that students can talk through and understand social-emotional skills. Haas suggests prioritizing safety over performance. “Kids are much more likely to participate in SEL conversations when they know they will not be forced to share, corrected for having a feeling, or put on the spot in front of peers,” Haas says. Then, as you engage students in conversation, respond with curiosity and a willingness to listen. The most helpful thing to say, says Haas, may be “That makes sense.” or “You don’t have to talk about it right now, but I’m here when you’re ready.”
Haas shared her favorite SEL questions, use them and 50 more to engage students in meaningful conversation. Want this entire set of questions below in one easy document? Grab our free Google Slides.
Jump to:
- Lauren Haas’s Favorite SEL Questions
- Personal Reflection SEL Questions
- School Focused Reflection Questions
- SEL Questions About Handling Tough Situations
- Fun SEL Reflection Questions
How to use SEL questions with middle and high schoolers:
- Pull one card up each week before class and have students reflect and share with you or with a small group to spark discussion.
- Share a card in your online classroom app along with a link to a Google form for student responses.
- Use cards one-on-one for a check-in of each student’s social and emotional learning skills bank.
- Pair students up to share their reflections on a card. Teach them how to empathize, appreciate diversity, and consider another perspective as they share.
Lauren Haas’s Favorite SEL Questions for Students
Haas likes using open-ended questions with students. Questions that help them reflect without trying to give a right answer. Haas shared her favorite questions below. For more SEL tips and ideas from follow her on Instagram @thecognitivecounselor.
- What clues does your body give you when you are starting to feel overwhelmed?
- What helps you feel calm, safe, or ready to learn?
- What is the difference between having a feeling and acting on a feeling?
- What can we do when someone wants something different than we do?
- What does a good apology sound like and what might repair look like after an apology?
- How can you tell when a friend might need support?
- What makes it easier or harder to ask for help?
- What does being included feel like? What does being left out feel like?
- What could you say to yourself when something feels hard or when you make a mistake?
- What are respectful ways to set a boundary with a friend?
- Can two people experience this situation differently? Can two people have the same experience and have different feelings about it?
50 more SEL questions for middle and high schooler students
We organized these questions by the type of conversation or focus you want to have. Are you talking about school or managing tough situations? Or, are you trying to get students to open up and get to know each other? Either way, these questions will students talking.
Personal Reflection SEL Questions
Reflecting is an important skill. Students can start building that skill by reflecting on what they know about themselves.
- What 5 words describe you best?
- What is the place where you feel most yourself?
- Let’s pretend you’re famous. What would you be known for?
- What does a typical weekday morning look like for you?
- How do you wind down at the end of the
- What job interests you?
- What do you see yourself doing in 5 or 10 years?
- Do you think of yourself as cautious or a risk taker?
- Share a time when you felt creative.
- Tell me the story of your name. Where did it come from?
- Share one person who has inspired you.
- What motivates you?
- What is one quality that bothers you about yourself?
- What is one thing you like about yourself?
- What’s your favorite quality to have in a friend?
- What is one thing that scares you?
- What is your biggest pet peeve?
- Who’s your biggest fan?
- What’s your favorite thing to do with your family?
- Which do you like better: having specific plans or going with the flow?
- What is one issue that’s really important to you?
- What is something about yourself you could totally brag about but usually don’t?
- What’s the best decision you ever made?
- Tell me something you want me to know about you.
School Focused SEL Questions
These questions ask students to reflect on their experience at school and are open-ended enough to start broader conversations.
- Where is your favorite place to study?
- What’s your secret to getting ready for a quiz or test?
- When your homework gets hard for you, what do you do?
- What is the most challenging part of school for you?
- What is the most fun part of school for you?
- Think about one teacher you really liked. What is one thing they did or said that made a difference to you?
- What is the best school assignment you’ve ever had?
- When do you feel most comfortable raising your hand?
- If you didn’t finish your homework, what’s most likely the reason?
- What advice would you give someone about school?
- What is an unwritten rule about school that everyone knows?
SEL Questions About Handling Tough Situations
Thinking through how to handle difficult situations is a great way to prepare students for life.
- If you get a disappointing grade, what do you do?
- Your friends aren’t getting along. How would you try to help them?
- When things get heavy, what helps you feel even a little bit calmer?
- Where do you feel this stress in your body?
- What is a safe way you like to let out your frustration or sadness?
- Who is one person you feel totally safe talking to?
Fun SEL Reflection Questions
And, sometimes you need a question that’s going to spark an enjoyable conversation with a few laughs.
- If you could travel back in time three years, what advice would you give yourself?
- If you could make one rule that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be? Why?
- If you had a superpower, what would it be?
- Is there an app that you hate but use anyway?
- If you could trade places with anyone for a day, who would it be and why?
- Talk about a funny or scary adventure you had with a friend?
- What’s the last great video you watched?
- If you could live anywhere, where would it be?
- What is one thing you know how to do that you could teach to others?
- What five things would you take to a deserted island?
- At what age should a person be considered an adult?
- You can either leave your hometown forever or never leave your hometown. Which do you choose?
