What Would You Be Teaching If You Had to Make Your Next Lesson About the Last Thing You Googled?

“OK, kindergartners, today we’re going to learn all about how to flatten a menopause belly.”

Paired images of a vodka gimlet and labrador to show lessons teachers would have to teach based on the last thing they googled

Here’s a fun thought experiment: What if you had to teach a lesson tomorrow about the last thing you Googled?

Our teacher audience weighed in, and their responses had us howling.

These take biology and anatomy to the next level …

“If Medicare covers a colonoscopy.”

—Mary G.

“Why I’m getting eye crusties all of sudden after sleeping.”

“If you’re wondering, it’s because my allergies have gotten worse!”

—Amanda S.

“When to drop off my son’s stool sample.”


—Sonya S.

“How to manage precipitous labor and delivery (labor less than 3 hours) and what to do if the baby is born in the car or parking lot …”

—Meg H.

“Best gas relief medicine.”

—Erin H.

“How different types of twins are formed. I think my preschoolers are ready.”

—Lydia B.

I can hear the pinging of parent emails in your inbox already …

“Everything Everywhere All at Once.”

“Those first graders are in for a cray-cray video and lesson on Tuesday.”

—Veronica Z.

“Gin distilleries.”

“Quite a science (and health) lesson right there.”

—Linda W.

“What restaurant serves mimosas on Mondays?”

—Trish V.

“The Handmaid’s Tale.”

“Probably a good thing I’m on leave.”

—Melissa D.

“M. Night Shyamalan.”

“Those 4-year-old kindergartners are not going to be happy. Nap time will be freaky!”

—Katie W.

“The difference between rye, bourbon, and whiskey.”

—Gina G.

“If you can use Bacardi rum to sterilize your thermometer.”

—Lynne C.

“What is 420?”

—Maggie M.

“Moulin Rouge tickets.”

—Laura R.

“A vodka gimlet recipe.”

—Suzanne L.

Settle down, class, it’s time to learn …

“Is the popcorn at Alamo Drafthouse vegan?”

“Answer: Yes, unless you add butter.”

—Jessica U.

“Is MLK Day a garbage pickup holiday in my town?”

“Should be a riveting educational experience.”

—Steven N.

“Well 2nd graders, today we will be learning all of the reasons why Liam Hemsworth and Miley Cyrus are no longer married.”

—Melissa B.

“Snoop Dogg narrating Animal Planet.”

—Beth P.

“How to clean a cat’s ears.”

—Hannah M.

“How to wash an electric blanket covered in vomit.”

“Not really Ancient Civ material, but a good life skill.”

—Jenn F.

“How to flatten a menopause belly!”

—Jackie D.

“Princess Leia Pez dispensers.”

—Sarah S.

“Why does my dog stare at me?”

—Tricia N.

“Constipated Labrador …”

—Laura R.

OK, these classes would actually be amazing!

I’d sit in!

“Aurora borealis tours in Alaska! I’d love to do a lesson on that.”

—Sue K.

“How to grow lettuce in containers … Heck, I might actually teach that for real lol!”

—Haiti R.

“Backpacking the Buckeye Trail. I’m sure my middle schoolers would love it.”

—Kate T.

“The history of Native American rock cairns. And I teach theater and English …”

—Joe M.

“Pumpkin patch tarantulas. I think my students would actually love that!”

—Sam M.

“The complete list of movies directed by Steven Spielberg … I’m into it!”

—Jojo S.

“Judy Blume and her Fudge series! I could teach that all day for a long time.”

—Lisa L.

“The difference between stromboli and calzones. It’s gonna be an awesome lesson.”

—Hailey H.

“Teaching about Asiago cheese.”

—Hannah B.

What would you be teaching tomorrow? Let us know in the comments.

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What if you had to make your next lesson the last thing you Googled? You won't want to miss these teacher responses!