Help! My Principal Keeps Passive-Aggressively Mentioning That I Leave Too Early

Dear We Are Teachers,

I took a job at a new school this year that I really like, apart from one thing: My principal keeps remarking on me leaving at my contract time! If I pass him on my way out, he’ll say, “You’re in a hurry!” or “Somewhere you need to be?” When I finally clarified with him that my contract day ends at 3, he said, “Oh, yes, that’s true, but most of our teachers just stay until 5:00 or later.” My eyes practically fell out of my head. I thought we had all agreed to just work our contract hours in 2024? Now I feel so sneaky leaving at 3. Help!

—Don’t You Know That You’re Toxic?

Dear D.Y.K.T.Y.T.,

First of all, as a fellow millennial, thank you for the B. Spears reference. 🐍

This is very irritating and would cause me great angst as a fellow rule-follower.

I could understand if you were skipping out on afternoon duty, meetings, or other things that tend to pop up under our “Other Duties as Assigned” catch-all. But on a normal day, you should be totally free to leave at your contract time—no questions asked!

Eventually, your principal will either drop the snide remarks and figure out that, unbelievably, you can still do your job well without doing unpaid labor. But if you don’t want to wait until he stops, you can say, “I give someone in my neighborhood a ride home every day and have to leave at my contract time to pick her up.”

Does he need to know that the person in your neighborhood is you? No, he does not.

Dear We Are Teachers,

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It’s my fourth year teaching 5th grade math at our school. I realized early on that any students I got who had Ms. A or Mr. B for 4th grade math were well prepared for my class. But any students who had Mr. C? Huge gaps in knowledge. Like, entire units missing. For the last three years, I’ve had to meet with Mr. C’s former students in small groups through December to fill those gaps.

I asked my team this past May about Mr. C and they said they noticed the same thing about his students. They said they’ve talked to him before but with no improvement. Now, they seem resigned to this reality of providing extra tutoring for his students every year!

I refuse to accept this. My question is, do I go to Mr. C first, even though my team has already talked to him? Or do I go to my principal at this point?

—“C” Your Way Out, Sir

Dear C.Y.W.O.S.,

Yeah. You’ve still got to talk to Mr. C first.

Here’s what you do.

Gather data.

Give your students a diagnostic test with some of the topics they were supposed to have learned in 4th grade, then filter those results by each teacher’s students. “Normal” results after a summer off would mean hits and misses here and there, especially with tougher concepts. But when only one teacher’s students are missing questions concentrated around certain concepts, you’re right—those concepts weren’t taught to mastery.

Talk to Mr. C.

Say this: “Hey, I gave a diagnostic recently and wanted to show you the results. Do you have a few minutes?”

Then, listen nonjudgmentally. Maybe he’ll admit that he really struggles with teaching those concepts, and you’ll have an opportunity to step in and offer support. Alternatively, he may get defensive and say there’s nothing wrong with his teaching. Or maybe he’ll offer a perspective you haven’t considered, like the fact that you and the other teacher have the Pre-AP classes. I don’t know. But be ready to respond with kindness and empathy, offering whatever support he needs.

If he’s willing to try harder, awesome. Let him prove himself. If he’s not willing to change, go to your department chair first (if you have one), then your AP. You’ll already have the data you need.

Dear We Are Teachers,

It’s my first year teaching high school and I’m loving it! There’s one hitch: I have a crew of about 10 students who eat lunch in my room now, and I never get anything done. I’ve tried noise-cancelling headphones, I’ve tried telling them to pretend I’m not there (in other words, don’t talk to me!), but they persist in being super distracting. I feel bad because they are great kids and I know they feel a sense of community in my room. But I NEED my alone time. How do I cancel group lunch without hurting their feelings?

—Tired of Being the Lunch Lady

Dear T.O.B.T.L.L.,

Let me first say that there is nothing wrong with needing (desperately) that little 20-minute block in the middle of your day to recharge in silence.

I could be wrong, but I sense some competing feelings within you. In light of this, I will divide my recommendations into two categories:

If you truly don’t want to host student lunch anymore, ever:

Just tell them. Say, “Listen, I love you guys and our lunches together. But as a teacher, I need this time not only to recharge, but to get things done—and there’s some things I can only do without students here. Sometimes I need to make parent phone calls, or leave you unattended to make copies or go to meetings. I could get in big trouble if I do that while students are eating lunch in here. I know you’re disappointed, and it’s a tough decision for me too. But I hope you understand.”

If you want to host student lunch but, like, cut way back:

If you’re afraid that a total cut feels too drastic, set boundaries!

• Host students once a week (or once a month) instead.
• Build a rotating schedule with other teachers who are willing to host.
• Find other ways to build community that don’t involve giving up your lunch time. (Two favorites that come to mind: attendance questions and this classroom calendar.)

Do you have a burning question? Email us at askweareteachers@weareteachers.com.

Dear We Are Teachers,

I moved to Florida from New England this year and, at an off-campus job fair, accepted a position with what seemed like a great middle school. But from the first day the school was open this summer for teachers to work in the building, I realized this school is infested with cockroaches. Dead ones in the hall, live ones scurrying out of boxes, roach poop all over surfaces. Not the baby German roaches but the big tree roaches. I’m OK with most bugs, but these are terrifying to me! I asked my principal what could be done, and he said apart from the quarterly exterminator visit, his hands are tied. I don’t want to make waves at my new school, but this seems like a health hazard!

—This Bugs Me