Reddit Teachers Are Sharing Their Best “Insults” From Students, and We’re Crying

Kids are ruthless.

Paired image of sandcastle and man with bald head with quote of insults from students

In a profession with so few absolutes, I know one thing for certain: Teachers must be able to laugh at themselves. This skill should be a teaching prerequisite, honestly. People who take themselves too seriously will never make it when they:

  • Accidentally project their neck rolls onto the screen from the document camera instead of a worksheet.
  • Trip over technology cords on a daily basis.
  • Accidentally swap a few important letters in the words “slimy rock cod” when reading aloud Amy Tan’s short story “Fish Cheeks” to a class full of seventh graders.

I may or may not know these things from experience.

Besides mistakes, another area of teaching where it helps to wield one’s sense of humor is when students issue apropos advice, commentary, or critiques. User theatredebatecoach92 recently posted the following query on Reddit:

Best "insults" by a student toward you?
by u/theatredebatecoach92 in Teachers

The question brought in an absolute firestorm of burns from teachers who are experts in laughing at themselves.

Sartorial Critiques

Comment
by u/Feature_Agitated from discussion Best "insults" by a student toward you?
in Teachers

Please elaborate?

Comment
by u/Brave_battalion from discussion Best "insults" by a student toward you?
in Teachers

Under His eye.

Comment
by u/QuentynStark from discussion Best "insults" by a student toward you?
in Teachers

Like a good neighbor.

Comment
by u/KellyCakes from discussion Best "insults" by a student toward you?
in Teachers

Oh, boy.

Comment
by u/TeachMeToReadGood from discussion Best "insults" by a student toward you?
in Teachers

Ah, one of those.

Physical Snubs

Comment
by u/Inevitable-Teacher0 from discussion Best "insults" by a student toward you?
in Teachers

Arresting green eyes and highly functional ears?

Comment
by u/sinsaraly from discussion Best "insults" by a student toward you?
in Teachers

Are. You. A. Baby.

Comment
by u/CozmicOwl16 from discussion Best "insults" by a student toward you?
in Teachers

There are worse characters to resemble, but still.

Comment
by u/Perfect-Ask-6596 from discussion Best "insults" by a student toward you?
in Teachers

None of your business, Beckett.

Comment
by u/541mya from discussion Best "insults" by a student toward you?
in Teachers

I have questions.

Comment
by u/bagpuss777 from discussion Best "insults" by a student toward you?
in Teachers

Brilliant.

Comment
by from discussion Best "insults" by a student toward you?
in Teachers

Stealing this.

Miscellaneous Discourtesies

Comment
by u/lethologica5 from discussion Best "insults" by a student toward you?
in Teachers

Not sure but I feel like flats and a scarf fit into the ensemble somehow.

Comment
by u/Moety2021 from discussion Best "insults" by a student toward you?
in Teachers

Love this observation.

Comment
by u/stampeder17 from discussion Best "insults" by a student toward you?
in Teachers

A bold move.

Comment
by u/Mary-todd-lincoln from discussion Best "insults" by a student toward you?
in Teachers

Even more ruthless considering every joke feels like a dud when everyone’s muted.

Comment
by u/langcasta from discussion Best "insults" by a student toward you?
in Teachers

So tough.

If you need me, I’ll be handing out ice packs the rest of the day.

(Get it? For these burns?)

What’s your favorite insult from a student (intentional or unintentional)? Let us know in the comments!

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Reddit Teachers Are Sharing Their Best "Insults" From Students, and We're Crying