Teachers Share the Funniest Things Kids Have Said About Their Parents

My mom likes to drink chardonnay.

funniest things kids say parents

When it comes to parent-teacher relationships, I find that “I’ll only believe half the things they say about you if you only believe half the things they say about me” is a good rule of thumb. It’s all about the benefit of the doubt, which is what we hope all the teachers who heard these comments gave these parents. I give you … the funniest things kids have told teachers about their parents:

Eating and drinking habits

His mom’s favorite place to go was Costco. “She loves hot dogs!” —Rachel

“The best part of COVID is that my parents are actually cooking.” —Carmen

“My mommy has a special drink every night, but it’s just for adults.” —Bear

Doing a gummy bear osmosis lab (where the gummy bears swell in pure water and shrivel in saltwater): “Oh, my mom likes to do this with vodka!” —Heather



Let me tell you about my mom

“Yesterday, Mommy hit the neighbor’s car with her car! It was DESTROYEEEDDDD!!!! But shhhh, she said not to tell anyone!” —Ildei

“My mom is 39!!! And she is still ALIVE!!!” —Dawn

“My dad is bigger than my mom, but she’s the boss.” —Krys

Dads are gross

Morning meeting topic: Pet peeves. 8th grader: Annoyed that his dad doesn’t use a washcloth in the shower and leaves hair all over the soap. 

PreK student: “We’re using shaving cream to practice letters? I know that stuff… my dad uses it on his back all the time.” —Jessica

“My dad can do the loudest farts ever!” —Sarah

Too much information

“My mom and dad have date night on Fridays. I’m not allowed out of my room.” —Katie

I was reading a book aloud to my class titled A Million Shades of Gray (about a boy and his elephant in Vietnam). A student raised his hand and said, “Hey, both my parents are reading that book!” —Rachel

About twenty years ago, when I taught first grade, a boy shared, “My dad is going to the doctor because he has a big boil on his butt!” —Ashley

A third grader told me her mom wasn’t feeling well. “Oh dear, what’s the matter? Do you need anything?” “Oh no, it’s OK, she just got her tubes tied!” she said a bit loudly. —Stephanie

What’s the funniest thing one of your kids has shared about their parents? Share in the comments!

Plus, Teachers Share the Most Hilarious Kid-Invented Words They’ve Ever Heard.

Teachers Share the Funniest Things Kids Have Said About Their Parents