Teaching is important, and itās high stakes. We care deeply about our students and their futures, and we want to give them every tool we can to ensure their success. For me, that love translates to a determination to do things right. Because if I fail, itās not just me who suffers.Ā
The result of this, of course, is a fear of failure and a hesitance to try new things. What if, by teaching fractions a new, more time-consuming way, I run out of time to teach probability and the students all fail their standardized tests? What if, by changing out a book on the syllabus, I deprive a child of the novel that would have inspired a love of reading? I know Iām not the only teacher who sees every decision as life-or-death, and every potential failure as a crime against innocent students.
But this year, Iām trying to push past that anxiety. I know that the first time I try something, I probably wonāt do it well. Just like the first time my students wrote their literary analysis papers, or the first time my son rode a bike. It takes practice, wrong turns, and readjustments to get good at anything, and the only way to succeed is to fail. This year Iām trying to embrace failure, and hope that by trying new things Iāll model learning for my students and, hopefully, hit on some strategies that work. Here are five things Iām doing badly in 2020.
1. Iām doing independent reading badly.
I replaced my classroom library with book circles and small-group text sets, and several students became angry. Iām still figuring out the best way to structure this center, and Iām not there yet. Some kids have read every single book in my classroom already. Some have yet to finish the first book they checked out. But I have seen an increase in independent reading since I started, so perhaps something is going right.
2. Iām doing journals badly.
I make my students write in their journals twice a week, and I respond to every child on each entry. That sounds great, right? Unfortunately, half the time my responses are āWow!ā or āSounds goodā or āMakes sense!ā or āGood luck with that!ā for every kid in the class. Sorry, kids. Iāll try harder.
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3. Iām doing parent communication badly.
I try to contact several parents a week and make at least half of my communication positive. But Iām currently failing, like I do every year. Most of the parents at my school donāt speak English, and my Spanish is rusty, so I end up relying on our overworked parent liaison a lot more than I would prefer. Of course, the more guilty I feel about bombarding him with emails, the more I slack off on the positive communication. But, hey. One positive call a week is better than none, right?
4. Iām doing tiered instruction badly.
Why is it so unbelievably difficult to do tiered stations? Seriously. It shouldnāt be this hard. But, there are like 30 students and one of me. And Iām prepping three different lessons and relying on 20 students to do self-directed activities while I teach the remainder and it is really, really difficult. But Iām going to keep doing it wrong and failing in creative new ways until I fail my way into a plan that works.
5. Iām doing structured literacy badly.
This is the biggest fail because I want so badly to do it right. Iāve got eight seventh graders who read below a third-grade level, and I desperately want to fix that. The problem is, I donāt have all the training or materials I need, and I struggle to find time to prepare amid all my other responsibilities. So I do what I can. I am talking to the people that do have the training, I am doing the research, and I am carving out time in the day for phonics practice. My flashcards are written in Sharpie on index cards, and I fear we wonāt find time for the decodable books and my students will push back at reading a book called Bear Gets a Scare. But Iām going to try.
My students deserve a teacher who is an expert in everything and knows how to do everything right, but, unfortunately, that teacher doesnāt exist. Instead, theyāve got me. Like Samuel Beckett said, Iām going to āfail betterā every year and maybe, once my studentsā kids come along, I will know what Iām doing.Ā
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Plus, why you donāt have to be a perfect teacher to make a difference.