Do you ever wish you knew exactly when your appraiser or supervisor was going to barge into your room? Don’t worry. I can tell you. Whether it’s before, during, or after school, this is exactly when you can expect a visit from him or her.
1. Two seconds after you’ve finished saying, “Okay, we have three minutes left and I need to respond to this email. I know I never say this, so cherish it: you may have free time until the bell.”
2. At the height of your impassioned disciplinary lecture.
3. Ten seconds after you’ve passed gas in an empty classroom.
4. Three seconds after you’ve stuffed six Hershey’s kisses into your mouth because you missed lunch and because there are six Hershey’s kisses on your desk.
5. As you’re telling your doctor on the phone, “No, no, I’ve been checking my tissues constantly and it’s definitely more green than yellow.”
6. Right before your wildest class on a Friday prior to a three-day weekend.
7. Mid-conversation with a fellow teacher about how you disagree with your boss’s most recent leadership decision.
8. The second that whatever technology you’re using to teach a whole-class lesson breaks down in a way you’ve never seen or even heard of before.
9. Twenty minutes into your conference period when you either have your head on your desk and are either asleep or crying.
10. The first time you sit down after four hours of standing.
11. The same moment you notice that the online data reference website you have projected on the board contains a male underwear ad.
12. Just as your iTunes shuffle transitions from a classical concerto to “If You Want to be My Lover” by the Spice Girls
P.S. None of this has happened to me. Definitely not.