Help! I Have an Energy Vampire on My Team This Year

Is it possible to turn her into a ray of sunshine?

Illustration of teacher dealing with negative coworker

Dear We Are Teachers,

We got a new teacher on our team this year who demands so much of our energy. Pam creates unnecessary drama, like sending hostile email to parents about insignificant issues (that, obviously, turn into big issues). She complains about the way we do everything here and compares it to her old school. But what’s really surprising is how much time she wants to spend with all of us. You would think someone who hated her job so much would keep to herself, but she is always popping into our rooms before, after, and during school spreading her negativity. Is it possible to turn Pam into a ray of sunshine?

—We’re Dying Here

Dear W.D.H.,

My very first thought is that she sounds lonely. To me, this negative coworker is someone who has maybe had their joy squashed too many times in their younger years and now finds deprecation the safest way of connecting with others.

I don’t know if you can turn Pam into a ray of sunshine. But I do think you can protect your energy while steering Pam lovingly to brighter pastures.

Set boundaries, but tread kindly. Be clear that you’re not willing to be on the receiving end of constant complaining. But offer suggestions that make her know she’s still a valuable part of your team. Maybe it sounds like one of these:

  • “You know, Pam, I think you’ve got a lot of really good points, and I love chatting with you. But I tend to feel really down if I get too caught up in the negative stuff. Maybe we could end our day with the best things that happened instead.”
  • “Pam, I want to know more about you! Can we have lunch together tomorrow? No work chat allowed for either of us though.”
  • “I get that conflict and criticism are necessary for growth, but I’ve been noticing that our team meetings sometimes turn into a rant fest. As a team, can we chat about the difference and maybe create a norm to protect our time?”

As long as you set boundaries in a way that isolates her complaints (and not her), I think you stand a good chance of getting to know a more positive, peaceful Pam.

Dear We Are Teachers,

I’ve decided I’m not coming back to teaching in January (way too much to go into here, but trust me that it’s the right move). But before I tell my administration, I’d like to have another job lined up. What career can I do with seven years of experience teaching elementary school that isn’t … teaching elementary school?

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—Going My Own Way

Dear G.M.O.W.,

First, congratulations! I know this is a decision you didn’t arrive at easily. We all start out in teaching sure that it’s where we want to be. It takes a lot of courage to change course and recognize that another path is better for us.

The good news is there are a ton of companies out there that not only hire former teachers but may even prefer former teachers. What I love about this list of 40+ companies that hire former teachers is that it includes education-based companies plus corporations and organizations that fall outside of the education world. Whether you want to get out of the classroom but stay in education or take a break far, far from your overworked Teacher Brain, you’re sure to find something that works for you.

I would, however, check in with HR on 1. how much notice you’re required to give in advance before quitting, and 2. whether quitting midyear will force you to surrender your license. Totally fine to still proceed, by the way—I just don’t want you to run into hiccups you didn’t foresee.

Dear We Are Teachers,

I teach 5th grade and could really use a “pep project” to get me through the rest of 2024. What are some ideas for short units that aren’t too labor- or time-intensive and would bring me and my students joy and a sense of community? Nothing holiday-themed, please, and preferably connected to literacy content, if even just tangentially.

—The Grinch

Dear T.G.,

Oh, I’ve got you.

Student Teachers

Put them in groups of three or four. Give them three days to prepare a PowerPoint on this topic: “What’s something very few people know about, but you think EVERYONE needs to know about?” It can be silly, serious, or somewhere in between—but make sure their topic has your approval! Base your rubric on the components of an expository text.

Prove It!

Students work independently. They choose a fact about themselves, no matter how boring (e.g., “I’m a college basketball fan,” or “I am 5 feet tall.”). Then, they have to prove it. They put together a presentation with the three strongest pieces of information that support this claim they’re making about themselves. Make them diversify their evidence (visual evidence/exhibits, expert testimony, etc.). I had middle schoolers do this and it was unbelievably funny and gave them a surprisingly strong foundation for persuasion and supporting claims with evidence. Plus, they all got to know each other better! Joy vibes for sure.

Service Learning

In partners or small groups, have students develop proposals for a service project for your class to do in the spring. (Be advised that the later commitment after is a big one, but that’s a problem for Future You.) Here are 35 ideas to get them marinating.

Now I’m too excited. Can I come be a student?

Do you have a burning question? Email us at askweareteachers@weareteachers.com.

Dear We Are Teachers,

I’m in my third year of teaching 3rd grade. I have a big family spread out across the city, and I love them dearly. But it’s really hard to keep up—especially around the holidays. I really need to rest this Thanksgiving break, but the email chains started weeks ago with family plans for four days in a row that week! I wish it was a “come to what you can” type thing, but my family definitely notices and places a huge value on who shows up and who doesn’t. How can I make my family understand I need some serious rest?  

—Enmeshed in Michigan

This week on Ask We Are Teachers, the topics range from a negative coworker to need for a new career! Check out our advice here.